sexy

2011-10-09T02:47:00.001+08:00

That's It.

... We broke up.

Millions of thoughts running through my head.

Did I do the right thing?

2011-08-30T19:11:00.003+08:00

Little Girl In The Mirror

Little girl, oh my little girl.

By now you should've learned to be wise.

Never let your walls come down completely.

Never believe in just words.

Believe in a kind heart.

Be brave, little girl.

I'm rooting for you.

2011-08-30T14:27:00.002+08:00

Thinking About It

I have been thinking about my life and my relationship with Lazy.

I realized that throughout all those cumulative years, I've somehow molded myself into half of a person and forgotten how to be myself.

Was talking to my sister the other day, and we came to the realization that in order for me to be truly happy, I need to find myself. I need to be comfortable doing things that I want to do alone.

I can not keep waiting for him to do things with me, because then it'll never get done. I also can't mope around the house waiting for him for hours on end when he attends stuff that he can't bring me.

In that sense, I also can not only wait for him to go do stuff without me before I can do my own stuff. Because by then, I'll be at a loss when he goes and end up moping around the house for hours on end again.

I also need to learn to ignore his 'not-happy' look. Because everytime I want to go do my own things, he gives that look and I'll feel so guilty that in the end, I won't go. I resent that.

So, for a start, I guess I'm just going to have to talk to him about giving me the time to find out who I am and what I really want to do. Even if its just small stuff like playing basketball or meeting friends.

*cringes*

2011-08-29T12:52:00.002+08:00

Lapdancing/Striptease Classes

Freaking painful!

I have bruises and aches in places I didn't even knew existed.

On the up side, because it was an all-ladies' studio, we were free to walk around in sports bras and hot short shorts.

First lesson alone was torturous. I don't know why I signed up for 7 more classes, but I did.

We did sexy walking, touching, basic movements, and floorwork. Oh god the floorwork. Technically the sexiest part of all, but also can easily turn gross with wrong expressions and movements.

The floorwork was also the killer for me, and probably the entire room full of girls. You can hear groans and muffled yelps, and the occasional thump of a girl whose arms gave out and who fell the the floor in a painful heap.

I'm still very much sore today, but it comes with an odd sense of accomplishment.

Onwards we GOOOOOOO!!!!!

2011-08-27T00:48:00.005+08:00

New Friends

Random Squawk: I notice that my recent posts all seem a little "me" centric lately. Please bear with this while I fine tune them out.

I like meeting new people and interacting with them on a personal level.

You know, when you meet new people in a group, you never seem to be able to get to know the real them until eons later (if you're still in contact) or never, whichever comes later.

I like to be able to converse with people on an intellectual level (which rules out stupid people) and get to know the real them. What they like, what they don't like.

You can actually tell a lot about a person by first interaction alone with them, even more so while playing games of any kind. But since a lot of first meetings don't come with a pack or cards or board games, that's ruled out.

I find that the happiest people are those who are contented with what they have, but also with a drive to excel and succeed with what they're doing. Those are the kind of people who are the most pleasant to be around.

There are those laden with problems too. The trick is to see past that and look at how they deal with those problems.

Of course, I don't scrutinise everyone I come into contact with, and I don't judge them, so you can relax. I simply let the feelings come as and when they do.

I do, however, scrutinise how I come across to people. I keep a chokehold on myself, my actions and my words, so as not to present the worst side of me. (Blogging is different, I'm probably never going to meet you anyway, so I can show you that as much as I want. So there. )

After all, isn't this what everyone secretly does on some level?

To my new friends who are probably never going to read this (because I took out the link from my Facebook page) - I do hope you guys stay around.

Friendship bears no grudges. Friendship goes through thick and thin. And the ones who leave, probably aren't worth being friends with anyway.

I'm morbid as hell, and my dirty jokes and puns are non-stop. If you're uncomfortable with that, leave now.

For the rest of you...

I'd like to be your friend :)

2011-08-27T00:43:00.002+08:00

Feel

Feel what you're feeling now.

Embrace it.

Now tell me. What is it exactly you are feeling? What is it called? Where does it come from? How did it get wedged so deep in there that you had to pull it out of you to examine it?

I ask myself these questions every day.

Right now, I'm feeling..... nothing.

I can't cross-examine myself because I don't have anything to cross-examine in the first place.

Am I turning into a monster?

I need to get back in touch with my inner-self.

2011-08-22T02:31:00.003+08:00

你听到了吗

......................... 心碎的声音

2011-08-20T23:02:00.004+08:00

Emptiness

There will always be an emptiness inside of you. Inside of all of us.

This blog is a very good example. For the years upon years that I've blogged, and the miniscule amounts that have affected you, my dear reader, it ultimately boils down to this - nothing.

When you read back at past achievements, past failures, past ups and past downs, you see only stories. So do I. I don't feel what I felt when I wrote those words so many years ago. I, like you my dear reader, have grown up and out of what I thought was an empty shell. We've all grown up together, pulled through joys and sorrows.

I thought that if I fulfilled my dreams, I will no longer be empty. I thought that if I took what I felt was the correct path to happiness, I will no longer be empty. I thought that simply by trying to live the perfect life, I will no longer be empty. I was wrong.

I got what I always wanted - a man who loves and values me more than his own life. A dream bike - the Suzuki GSXR 750. A dream house near to my mother's. Two perfect dogs. A whole bunch of friends that I have a love-hate relationship with.

And yet...

I still feel the emptiness inside.

I am sometimes envious of the young girl inside of me, who used to laugh and brood over the smallest of matters. The young girl who would be affected emotionally over almost every single thing that happens to her. I can no longer feel joy. I can no longer feel sorrow. I can no longer be bothered with anger. It just feels like there's a black hole inside of me, swallowing up every emotion before I have a chance to process or feel it.

I give myself every opportunity to relive what it feels like to have feelings again, but it all comes around to bite me in the ass. If I have the free rein to explore those feelings, maybe I wouldn't be so empty inside.

I recently met an old, old friend. You know, sometimes when you meet old friends whom you've not met for awhile, your actions and mentality will go back to that age at which you hung out with that friend? Well I met this friend when I was in primary school, and then again at age 18 for awhile.

He arouse a mirage of feelings inside of me, most of which are directed at my own self. Because of his appearance, I started questioning my own self worth. I started questioning who I've become. I've started questioning the choices I've made. And I realised that.... I'm miserable.

I don't have people I can rely on to talk about my feelings, other than my boyfriend, who is usually the catalyst of my moods so I can't really tell him everything. I have 2 people I can talk to, but not rely on, and it's not their fault because they have their own lives too. I have a whole bunch of friends in my clique (well actually there are 6 of us), none of which I can pour my heart out to.

And I can only stare helplessly, as I watch my life spiral deeper and deeper down this vortex, probably never to return.

Help me.

2011-01-26T23:46:00.003+08:00

A Snippet

"Do you know where the idea of a labyrinth first came from?"

I Shake my head.

"It was the ancient Mesopotamians. They pulled out animal intestines - sometimes human intestines, I expect - and used the shapes to predict the future. They admired the complex shapes of intestines. So the prototype for intestines in, in a word, guts. Which means that the principle for the labyrinth is inside you. And that correlates to the labyrinth outside."

"Another metaphor," I say.

"That's right. A reciprocal metaphor. Things outside you are projections of what's inside you, and what's inside you is a projection of what's outside. So when you step into a labyrinth outside you, at the same time you're stepping into the labyrinth inside. Most definitely a risky business."

"Like Hansel and Gretel."

"Right, just like them. The forest has set a trap, and no matter what you do, no matter how careful you are, some sharp-eyed birds are going to eat up all your breadcrumbs."

2011-01-26T23:34:00.000+08:00

24

.............. I'm here.

Where are you?

..... Where are you?

2010-03-25T19:04:00.002+08:00

A Snippet

"... Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender the kind...
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned."

- Edna St. Vincent Millary

2010-03-07T15:57:00.001+08:00

I Almost Cried When I Read This

When Anna Kozlov caught sight of the elderly man clambering out of a car in her home village of Borovlyanka in Siberia, she stopped dead in her tracks, convinced her eyes were playing tricks.

There, in front of her, was Boris, the man she had fallen in love with and married 60 years earlier. The last time she had seen him was three days after their wedding, when she kissed him goodbye and sent him off to rejoin his Red Army unit.

By the time he returned, Anna was gone, consigned by Stalin’s purges to internal exile in Siberia with the rest of her family as an enemy of the people. They left no forwarding address.

Frantic, Boris tried everything he could to find his young bride, but it was no good. She was gone.

Now, more than half a century later, they were reunited, an extraordinary coincidence leading them both to return to their home village on the very same day.

“I thought my eyes were playing games with me,” Anna said. “I saw this familiar looking man approaching me, his eyes gazing at me. My heart jumped. I knew it was him. I was crying with joy.”

Now 80 years old, Boris had returned to visit his parents’ grave. As he stepped out of the car, he looked up to see Anna standing by her old house, where they had lived for the few days after the wedding.

“I ran up to her and said: 'My darling, I’ve been waiting for you for so long. My wife, my life...’”

2010-03-04T02:33:00.001+08:00

Where'd You Go?

I miss you so.

.....me.

2010-03-03T17:59:00.001+08:00

I Is Emo

I is have been emo for some time now. At least, that's what appears to me when I read back on my recent (what recent?) posts.

But no, I've been having the typical ups and downs, elations and desperations. I've been having fun, taking lots of pictures. I just don't have the time to post anymore. I don't have time to edit pictures, host and post and add a storyline to them.

Plus there are restrictions here.

2010-02-22T01:40:00.002+08:00

In An Unprecedented Move...

Blog Mistress retracts her previous post. If all goes well, I may never have to repost my previous post.

Why do things always have to come to a full circle only after I've cut the last strings holding us together?

I thought I'd lost what once was a close friend, and for once, I felt relieved.

Why'd he have to come back now?

2010-01-31T10:22:00.003+08:00

Imagine

Imagine an artist. Let's say Van Gogh and his (unappreciated during his lifetime) post-impressionist paintings. Let's say that during his time, somebody rich recognizes his genius and commissions him to paint a ginormous portrait of said rich person's mansion.

So Van Gogh sits down at his easel and one of his old canvases, and wondered if he should do it with pen and ink under-drawing or with just diluted oils. He finally decides on one, and sets the stage for something spectacular.

He brushes, he strokes. He paints over the half-finished smiling face of the foreign lady, Lady Gioconda or something. She looks oddly familiar. Hmmm. He had found the old canvas lying in some dusty old shed during one of his travels.

He hides a signature at the corner of the easel. He puts his style into his painting. He used all the tricks of the trade, and some more of his own. As with all artists, he is unable to produce a painting that is not perfect. He pours so much of his own soul into the painting that in a sense, this painting becomes him.

Hours pass by and his base is done. Then the background. Then the mansion.

Day turns to night and it is time to go home. As he lives a few miles away and travels by foot, he cannot carry the oil painting with him. No matter, I'll come back and fill in the features of the house tomorrow, he thinks as he gingerly puts the half finished painting in a spare room of the mansion.

***************************************************************

Dawn breaks and he happily skips (yes, skips) to finish his work on the painting. When he reaches the mansion, the door was open. I'll just pop in and get my easel, he thinks.

A gasp of horror reaches his remaining ear. He realizes that it's his own. He stares, horrified at his painting. Somebody had... had... changed the painting! Instead of his turquoise sky in the background, somebody had painted an ugly mucus-green over it! Instead of the original 3 storey mansion, somebody had added another wobbly looking floor in a distinctively amateurish style that was absolutely unlike any of Van Gogh's!

"I added in something of my own. It'd be much more impressive if the building looked foreboding, don't you think?"

The owner of the mansion proudly appeared in the corridor, as if proud of his accomplishments in ruining the painting.

Impressive? The roof looks like it's caving in! The sky literally looks like shit! The entire painting is ruined! All his hard work, all his heart and soul that went into the painting, ruined! His style was disrespected. His dignity was disrespected. His painting was disrespected. He was disrespected.

He stands there for a moment, opening and closing his mouth repeatedly, not knowing what to say or do. Then he starts seeing red. It was as if the world was suddenly covered in red. Boiling blood pounds in his temples.

With superhuman strength, Vincent Van Gogh lifts the ginormous canvas painting off the easel in rage, tears the entire thing apart, and throws the shreds at the man who disrespected him.

Then he stomps out of the building, never to be seen at the mansion again.

***************************************************************

I wish I could tear down the paintings too.

How would you feel if someone disrespects your work?

2010-01-24T14:22:00.001+08:00

Hey Big Brother

Happy Birthday.

We love you.

2010-01-16T15:12:00.002+08:00

Ouch

It seems harder for me to rebound emotionally now.

He said something unintentionally last night over dinner, and it actually hurt quite badly. He caught his mistake, and he tried to make up for it, but the damage was already done.

How can it hurt this much? How could it have stung so badly that I can still feel the ringing in my ears now, as if he's just slapped me across the face?

I could just pretend to have forgotten about it after awhile and latch right back on to his arm, and I did. Clinging on to his arm while we walked around, I found that I couldn't smile at him. Not that night.

Other painful stuff are starting to resurface now. I think I need to go get my life back.

2010-01-15T15:50:00.000+08:00

......

I'm so scared.

I don't want to live my life through and then wonder how I got there.

I want to remember.....

2010-01-10T11:51:00.002+08:00

Hiatus

I've found somewhere else to vent. Somewhere not as heavily monitered as here.

Don't worry. I'll be back with snippets.

:)

2009-12-25T17:47:00.003+08:00

I Am...

... not your maid.

... not your secretary.

... not your mother.

... not your social escort.

I have feelings.

I am not a machine.

I understand that you need to work, but that is not an excuse to treat me like the above.

I have talked to you about this before. Many times.

Guess why I feel the need to blog about it again?

2009-12-24T16:04:00.002+08:00

Fucking Irritating

I abhor the expression "harrrrrrrrr........" people give when you tell someone to do something.

You know, that whiney sound you make when someone tells you to eat a pound of shit.

If I can get super mad at primary 2 kids for "harrrrrrrr...."-ing when I tell them to do their work, I can get even madder when a full-grown adult does so. I mean, how childish are you?

It is not an expression or anger or sadness, it does not help you think better. All it does is buy you that 5 long-assed seconds you spent "harrrrrrrr..."-ing and tells the person that you don't want to do it. Then what do you want that person to do? Do every single little thing for you?

Well, fuck you.

Do you think by "harrrrrrrrr...."-ing the god-damned thing that you're so terrified of will go away by itself? That class work and homework will automatically disappear? That ingredients for a recipe we're supposed to prepare for today's mini-party will automatically fly to my house by themselves? That the food will cook itself?

Oh just GROW UP!

2009-12-18T15:39:00.003+08:00

All You Sons Of Bitches

I repeat - ALL you sons of bitches.

Go fuck yourselves.

I give, and give, and fucking give. I don't even know how to live for myself anymore, I've been living my life for all you sons of bitches all my life. And all you do is take, and take, and fucking take.

If I am dead inside, I wouldn't feel so. I wouldn't have the fiery pit within me envelop my whole being every time I am stepped upon.

I am angry. I am more than angry. I am murderous. I feel homicidal everytime you sons of bitches crush me under your feet for the sheer pleasure of it. I feel like holding a slugger in my hands and feeling the crack of your skull as I devour the pleasure it gives.

But I don't look so.

In the name of reason and normality I take it. I take it up the ass for you sons of bitches. I tolerate whatever shit you throw my way, simply for the fact that you might deserve another chance.

Might.

Listen up, all you sons of bitches. Listen good. Here's an example of why you shouldn't step on my tail too much.

There is only so much I can take. Not that it pleases me to tolerate. I boil over with anger and hurt every time someone steps on me, but for fucking peace's sake, I take it when you get up in my ass.

No seriously. Not anymore.

I'm not only going to stop being Little Miss Nice, I am going to be downright nasty when you step on my tail.

Don't say you've not been warned.

2009-12-16T16:23:00.003+08:00

An Excerpt

"Having eyes but not seeing beauty;
having ears, but not hearing music;
having minds, but not perceiving truth;
having hearts that are never moved
and therefore never set on fire.
These are the things to fear, said the headmaster."

- Totto-chan, Tetsuko Kuroyanagi

2009-12-16T15:07:00.002+08:00

Holy Shit Holy Shit Holy Shit

So I stayed up late one night watching TV after Lazy fell asleep playing with his PS3. At around 4am (yes, there is a 4am) some Korean show came on, about some tutor and some rebellious rich kid who stayed back 2 grades.

I don't usually watch Korean or Japanese films (unless its in the horror genre), but I was bored and too lazy to reach for the remote, so I ended up watching the whole show.

By the end of the show, I was swooning over the guy.

I.. kind of forgot what his name is. But HOLY SHIT is he HOT!

What the hell have I been missing?! How many more hunks speaking in different languages are there out there?

Hot damn, I want a piece of this! And his face is super cute too.

*drools*

2009-11-30T19:52:00.003+08:00

Recommended Movie Of The Month

Since it is my off day today, I spent the day lazing around in bed watching TV. Wasn't feeling well at all too, my head feels like it's about to explode.

Anyway, I caught this movie on HBO Signature just now. I rarely give rave reviews for movies in the drama genre, but this one takes the bat. It's somewhere along the line of Johnny Depp's Neverland, with all its sensational artistic glory, but better.

Robin William's What Dreams May Come.

It's about a pediatric neurologist who, on the night of his "DD" anniversary, got hit by a out-of-control car while stopping to help a car crash victim on his way home.

The story revolves his life after death, and how he went to lengths to get his wife back from "hell" after he found out that she committed suicide not long after his death.

The show portrays a heaven that he created with his wife in their art, where everything is made of paint, and things happen appear when you will them to. Their dream home, which he painted when he was alive for his wife, appears across the lake too. And best of all, Katy, their dalmation puppy who got sick and died years ago, comes bounding back at him when he wakes up in a field of painted poseys.

Everybody can choose to take on forms and faces other than their own. In a timeless place like "heaven", there is no rank or stature, nobody's older than the other. In the same line, both his kids who died years ago in a car accident, appeared to him at different intervals with their own revelations.

*Shall stop here or I'll spoil the show for you.*

This is the only movie so far, of all time, that got me sobbing like a child. I had literally soaked my pillow and blanket by the end of the show.

I guess it deals with my biggest fear - losing the people I love. I'm not afraid of death myself, but I'm terrified at the prospect of losing the people that I live for. I know that it's going to happen sooner or later, and I live in fear of when that day comes.

Watch this show if you have HBO signature, people. If not, rent it from your friendly neighbourhood rental shops (assuming they have this work of art), or dang! Buy it from HMV! Get the DVD if they have, this is too good to view in blur.

2009-11-12T19:12:00.004+08:00

People Like Me Don't Run From People Like You

I just heard something that made my day.

TKN just told me that a little bird told her that at the height of our animosity, you read my blog posts fervently, all the time.

The little bird also divulged that it was you who left those nasty, nasty comments and blamed it on her.

So during that period of time when I felt most alone, I was never alone. You were there in spirit with me, devouring my every word with relish (laced with hatred, but still mostly relish). In a sense, you understood more about me than anyone else caught in that situation did. You paid more attention to me in that situation than anyone else did.

How ironic. And creepy.

Hamster

2009-11-11T13:06:00.001+08:00

2009-11-08T14:42:00.003+08:00

Sucks To Be Me

... for the past few months.

I had a mini meltdown in front of the Lazy last night. Threw my bag on the floor and couldn't stop crying. Couldn't take it anymore.

Everything I do, everything I lay my hands on, turns to shit. Everything around me, associated with me, turns to shit. I thought it was just a rough patch that'd be over in a while, but I was wrong.

So wrong.

I'm blessed to have a wonderful family, but it serves to remind me of what a failure I've become. I've tried to grit my teeth and bear with it in a rational and reasonable way. I've tried to be mature and independant as much as I can.

I'm sick of doing all those and getting shit back.

I don't want to be the adult anymore who helps you to find solutions to problems all you sons of bitches are too lazy to use your brain to solve. I don't want to be the mediator anymore. I don't want to be responsible anymore for things that aren't under my jurisdiction. I don't want to be rational and understanding anymore.

I'm at the point where the tiniest bit of flame you cause inside me is enough ammo for me to slap you, or at least stop talking to you for a long, long time.

Don't tempt me.

2009-11-04T19:25:00.001+08:00

Supersize This

2009-11-04T15:39:00.003+08:00

So Sad...

Learning About Goodbye

Becka held onto Tigger with all her seven-year-old might. She hugged her pet close to her chest and rested her cheek on her cat's head. The old cat mewed quietly and Becka felt another tear streak down her cheek.

She stopped walking. "Daddy, I won't let you do this."

Her father, walking two paces ahead, stopped his slow strides. His shoulders slumped, but his grip on the rifle grew tighter. William sighed and turned to face his daughter. "Becka, Tigger is sick. Very sick. We're helping him."

Becka felt her brother's hand on her shoulder. Billy was ten and didn't care about Tigger. He wasn't crying at all, Becka thought bitterly. But Tigger was his pet too.

"But...but why?" Becka trembled, clutching Tigger tighter. He mewed louder this time, his sound strangled slightly by the girl's arms.

William frowned. "Tigger is dying, angel. We're going to help him die."

Becka sobbed. "I don't want him to die! I love him!"

"He's hurting, Becka," Billy said. "That dog hurt him real bad."

"No. Why can't we take him to the vet? The vet can save him," Becka tried to take a step back, but Billy was still there.

Shaking his head, William knelt next to Becka, "No, he'd just do the same thing we're doing. He's hurt too bad. He's just a barn cat, sweetie. He's not worth the money we'd spend on him."

"He's important to me. He's worth it to me," Becka shook her head.

"Becka," William's voice firmed. "You have to say goodbye. We have to do this."

"No!" Becka shouted. "He's mine!"

"Becka, listen to daddy!" Billy snapped.

Becka's small face contorted with an anger she'd never felt before. She couldn't understand her feelings or what her father wanted to do. Tigger was still breathing. He was nuzzling her face right then and there, purring and trying to comfort her. But Becka could feel the differences in Tigger's body since the big, mean dog had grabbed him. He was bleeding from wounds all over his body. He felt softer. He would cry when she tried to touch him. Why was he hurting?

"What will happen to him when he dies?" Becka asked.

William stood and sighed. "God will send an angel to take him to heaven. He'll be with all the other pets. He won't hurt anymore, Becka."

Becka froze. What was she doing? Could she do this? She lifted up Tigger and gazed into his eyes. One was filled with blood and leaking large tears. The other was still clear and bright. The cat's eyes slowly met Becka's. With the look, Becka asked forgiveness.

She kissed the top of her pet's head and gently handed him to her father. She felt Billy take her hand and turn to lead her away.

They had walked ten paces when they heard the shot.

Then another.

And another.

They both turned to see what was wrong.

It turns out the cat was an alien. It bit off their faces and took off for it's hidden alien craft in the woods.

Fucking alien cats.

Found this gem at http://www.ubersite.com/m/61316

2009-11-03T12:17:00.002+08:00

Hiatus

I don't know what to write. I've got no motivation to write. I have no time to write.

And it's driving me crazy.

To the people who threw me into the lurch and left me there.. FUCK YOU. When you tire of your new toys or they get tired of you, you'll die alone and I won't be there because I've moved on :)

2009-10-21T16:36:00.002+08:00

What The Great Big Bloody F...?

This in reference to this post .

HOUSING & DEVELOPMENT BOARD

Your Ref	:
Our Ref	:	BIN-10-09-Y47
Date	:	21 Oct 2009
Tel	:	63985959
Fax	:	68543239
Email	:	tkw6@hdb.gov.sg

Dear Ms Tan

REQUEST FOR WAIVER OF PARKING OFFENCE NOTICE NO: H0145744R & H0140963T - FN7418M

Ms Jasmine Tan
Email: (deleted due to privacy issues)
Singapore


Dear Ms Tan

REQUEST FOR WAIVER OF PARKING OFFENCE NOTICE NO: H0145744R & H0140963T - FN7418M

PARKING OFFENCE NOTICE NO: H0145744R & H0140963T
DATE / TIME OF OFFENCE : 10 & 12 Sep 2009 / 12:10am & 01:41am
VEHICLE NO : FN7418M

REQUEST FOR WAIVER OF PARKING OFFENCE NOTICE

I refer to your email of 13 Sep 2009.

Car Park No.Y47 (Blk 360 - 367 Yishun Ring Road) where the offence was committed does not have the night parking facility. If such a facility is provided, it will be stated in the signboard installed at the entrance of the car park. Car Park No: Y47 is reserved for season ticket holders only after 10.30 pm.

During the inspection by our service provider, United Premas International at Car Park No: Y47 on 10 and 12 Sep 2009 at 12:10am and 01:41am respectively, your vehicle was found parked at lot no: 27B without a valid season parking ticket. Therefore, the parking offence notices were issued.

We have considered your case carefully but regret to inform you that we are unable to waive the offence notices. Please make payment at any HDB Branch Office with the next 10 days from the date of this letter. Payment by e-services and other modes of payment are listed overleaf of the offence notice.

We have interviewed our service provider, United Premas International. They confirmed that the canvas cover of your motorcycle was already torn before they issued the offence notices. We would advise you to lodge a report with the Police.

Should you wish to park your vehicle overnight, you may do so at car park Y45 (Blks 343-351 Yishun Ave 11) where there is night parking facility.

If you need further clarification, please contact the Yishun Branch Office's Car Parks Section at 63985949.

Yours sincerely

(Signed in Lotus Notes)
TAN KWANG WEI
SENIOR EXECUTIVE ESTATES OFFICER
for HEAD, YISHUN BRANCH OFFICE
HOUSING ADMINISTRATION DEPARTMENT

Guys, should I go to the police or send an article in to stomp?

2009-10-11T03:19:00.001+08:00

Going Off

... to Genting in a few hours' time.

For some reason, I'm terrified.

2009-10-01T20:35:00.002+08:00

Down

If you're not going to be there for me when I am down, why should I be there for you when you're having fun?

Enjoy your goddamned mahjong, because I'm not coming.

2009-09-30T17:16:00.003+08:00

The 8 Phases of Dating

I found these online while surfing just now, and they're too good not to repost!

From http://mingle2.com/dating/phases by Matthew Inman (they've got other great stuff too!)

2009-09-29T21:04:00.002+08:00

I Can't Feel A Thing

We had a talk and had the problem solved last night.

But instead of the love-induced delirium that usually comes with finally getting to touch him again after so many days, I ... can't feel a thing.

Instead, I feel even more alone. I feel even more like leaving

The awkward passes in the hallway. The awkward hugs.

We just aren't us anymore.

I think these feelings stem from having to fight for an apology, even in the most obviously-his-fault situations. I'm so tired and battle-stricken from having to fight for apologies that I rightfully deserve.

It took 4 years for me to get my very first sincere apology from him, and that took an entire week's effort.

And it's not just about the damned apologies. Its about so many other things.

I don't know how I am can not feel a thing, and yet feel so alone.

All I feel is.. that I want to sit here in this chair in office. For as long as possible.

I don't want to go anywhere.

2009-09-25T09:22:00.005+08:00

Nowhere To Go

No one to talk to. So I'm talking to you :)

Shouldn't have expected any less from him, seeing as everyone else in the world is treating me like shit recently, but I did. Which brings me to higher heights to dash me down harder.

Everyone else in the world could hate me, and I wouldn't feel a thing. But not him.

We haven't talked since Tuesday night. And you know what? We didn't even quarrel. We had an argument about his friends (again) and Mr C (who shall henceforth be known as HWSNBN).

It didn't even start out as an argument about his friends.

He was just talking about his poor colleague whose girlfriend forbids him to meet his friends over dinner on Tuesday.

Clarification #1: I do not forbid him to meet his friends. I just don't want to be dragged along to places I don't want to go or forced to conform to groups that I do not belong to. But he is free to go, which he doesn't want to without me, which he then blames me for separating him from his friends.

So I asked him if he was happy where we were. As with any topic about his friends, he gets sensitive and it spirals out of control. From group cultures to conformity, to getting pushed around by HWSNBN* (he actually likes it), we ended up sitting in my living room and he went on about how sad HWSNBN's life is, and that's why he's a douchebag and we should forgive him for it.**.

* This is for the ladies. Girls, will you like having your man pushed around? Won't he seem less of a man when he doesn't do anything about it and stops you from doing so? Even if it wasn't for the love you have for him, it's for the self-respect you have for both yourself and him. When he is actually OK with being pushed around and still goes back for more, you somehow lose whatever respect you have for him as a man.

** Douchebags aren't born. They're cultivated. A sad life story isn't an excuse for douchebaggyness. Everybody has a sad story, most people become better people because of it. But when people choose to become douchebags, you know they're the ones to avoid. Just like how my white brother has turned into a douchebag and we're avoiding him. I could easily go back for more and let him outcast me from the group like he does, but I actually have self-respect.

Clarification #2: I admit, I do bitch about HWSNBN a lot. But that's because he is a horrible person. It's just like Guy A pisses me off, and I bitch about how horrible Guy A is. And because we're always together, of course I'm going to bitch about Guy A to HIM. I'm sure he doesn't want me to bitch about Guy A to other guys right? Also, the whole wide world bitches about HWSNBN, even him. He sometimes bitches to me about what a douchebag that guy is, so why am I condemned (yet) again for voicing out my views on that guy?

The shit thing is, I wasn't even focusing on his friends, or HWSNBN. I was focusing on Us. Us, as in me and him. Us, as in the people in this relationship.

I just wanted to know if he was happy where we were, and how we could improve things, and I wanted to make him feel better by showing him other points of views, trying to make him understand, which he took to be me forcing my thinking on to him.

Clarificatin #3: I am not forcing my views on him. I just want him to see what I see when things happen around me. Instead, he thinks I'm forcing my views on him. He doesn't see that he's forcing his will on me when he forces me to go out with people I don't consider to be my friends.

He keeps saying that he understands what I'm trying to say, but he doesn't. Sure he understand the words coming out of my mouth, but he doesn't get the point of what I'm saying and why I'm saying it. Why would I keep repeating what I've said before countless of times if I didn't have a point, or if he understood the point way before?

"How many years have we been quarrelling about this?"

It's because you never understood me before. Or even made the effort to try to understand. You just keep saying that you understood, you understood, you understood. But you never ever did. You keep dragging it back to you, back to him, back to the group. It was never about me.

So we were having this talk in my living room. Actually, he was the one doing the talking. I got so sick of being interrupted that I decided to try a different approach. I let him talk all he wanted without interrupting him. He went on for a long time, with me being quiet on the other end of the couch.

When he was done, he asked what I had to say. I simply said that I was waiting for him to finish what he had to say.

What I meant to do was to wait for him to finish whatever he had to say without interrupting him, so I could say my piece without being interrupted. I had taken mental notes at points in which I had wanted to intervene but didn't for the sake of not interrupting him. I too had a long piece to say.

But I never got the chance.

As soon as I said that I was waiting for him to finish his piece, he got up and walked off, saying that he doesn't want to waste his breath on me anymore.

Which might not seem much to you, but its mighty hurtful to me. We have this agreement to never walk off angry during an argument. And to never let an argument drag overnight.

I sat in the living room for hours after that waiting for him to come back so we could finish the talk, but he never did. Looks to me like he gave up. He might have thought that he knew what I wanted to say; he might have thought that he understood, but he never did.

We haven't talked since.

I'm supposed to be angry at him for not following through on his demands of me to never walk out during an argument and to finish things on the spot. I'm supposed to be angry at him for not waiting it out to listen to what I have to say. I'm supposed to be angry at him for dragging (yet again) the topic of us to include people who are not in the relationship with us.

But for some reason, he is angrier than me.

I'm sick and tired of being the reasonable one. I'm sick and tired of being the one who's trying to open communication channels when he's not. I'm sick and tired of NOT being the selfish one. I'm sick and tired of holding together this wreck we call communications. I'm sick and tired of being the one who's desperately holding on to the passion in the relationship.

If you don't want to waste your breath anymore, that means we're done communicating.

We're done.

2009-09-16T02:03:00.004+08:00

One Gigantic *ahem*

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/cna/20090915/tap-139-pm-lee-says-singapore-greater-ef-231650b.html

Dear NTU students. I'm sure you know how to spot *ahem* when you see it.

We are having one fucking big problem with physical constraint.

Imagine. 1 HDB flat. Thousands of people. Only 20 or so parking lots. Less than 10 bike parking lots.

United Premas aunties fighting for commissions, giving summons like no tommorrow. 4 bike summons already take up more than 10% of my take home income.

Gahment die also don't want to build more parking lots for its citizens. Spend so much money on foreigners.

And people like us can't do SHIT about it simply because.. we're peasants. Who the fuck cares about peasants who aren't beneficial to the gahment in terms of monetary gains except for fucking PARKING SUMMONS? Who would prefer us, peasant-CITIZENS of Singabloodypore, over rich foreigners who have cash to give to the Gahment?

Too many cars? Don't worry, summon those peasants. Economic crisis? Summon those peasants. Gahment not enough money? Summon those peasants. Peasants have no say because they are poor people.

I am one pissed off peasant.

PS: Don't sue me. I have absolutely nothing left for you money grubbers.

2009-09-12T14:21:00.004+08:00

The Injustice Of It All

It's so great that I sat down for an hour straight doing nothing but pounding away on my keyboard to send out this long-assed e-mail to the LTA.

Reproduced in its entirety below.

To Whomever-It-May-Concern,

12 September 2009 2.20pm

I am writing in to appeal for the two parking summons I received on 10th and 12th September respectively for my motorcycle, licence plate FN7418M, and to make a complaint regarding the work ethics of United Premas staff.

I was overseas from 8-12 September, and have just reached home not long ago. I went to check on my bike before I came home because it had a small hole in it which I suspect was caused by the summons officer from when I received a ticket on 3rd Sep in an effort to get to my number plate under the cover.

I was infuriated to see today:

1) The small hole had turned into a huge rip, exposing half of the front of my bike to the mercy of sun and rain. As it has a delicate engine, I like to keep it covered so that it is not exposed to the elements. Who knows how long it has been like that? Probably from 10th or 12th Sep onwards.

2) There were TWO parking summons, TWO days apart. This gives me the impression that the summons officer could, if he/she really had a mind to, camp out at this particular carpark and issue tickets every hour until the respective owners remove their cars. It was not as if the second summons officer, Hamiza Bte Abdul Rahman, did not know that there was already one parking ticket issued by Misliah Bte Mohamed before her - it was paper clipped to the ripped bike cover.

This is a particularly big problem in my carpark - Y47. My boyfriend who lives with me, has received tickets on two occasions at 7.01am when he put coupons that end at 7am, and on one occasion got a ticket at 8.01am when the full amount payable kicks in. My mother, who recently got her first car, tried time and time again to purchase season parking unsuccessfully. She finally got the season parking, but it started in September. So from the time she got the car, which was mid August, until 1st September, she got more than 15 parking tickets, all within the hour of coupons expiring.

My mother, being a simple minded person, paid for ALL the parking summons because she was unable to go through the hassle of appealing the parking tickets as she is the breadwinner of the family and is always working. I feel that the exceedingly numerous parking fine are a flat-out extortion from people like my mother.

3) The second summons officer - Hamizah Bte Abdul Rahman - the one who blindly issued the second ticket, STAPLED the ticket to my already ripped bike cover. STAPLED. This is exactly the kind of atrocity that caused my bike cover to be ripped in the first place. As I have clarified before, my bike is a delicate bike, it needs to be kept out of the sun and rain.

4) The worst was yet to come.

Upon closer inspection, I found a few deep scratches on my windshield. It was not there before I went overseas, I am very sure, as I take good care of my bike (or I wouldn't have made such a fuss about the ripped bike cover). I would guess that it happened somewhere along the line of "pulling the hole wider to look for my number plate" or "paper-clipping/STAPLING the ticket onto my bike cover" when a heavy bag hit against it.

Attached are pictures of the state of my bike when I got back earlier today.

In conclusion, I am only willing to pay the fine for the ticket issued on 10th September (notice number H0140963T) but not for the one issued on 12th September (notice number H0145744R).

In addition, I would like to request for compensation of a new bike cover that I purchased today (priced at S$32.00) right after I found out the state of the old bike cover, and also compensation for a new windshield of the same model (priced at S$130.00) as the scratches cannot be removed on this windshield. I would honestly appreciate it if nothing happens to them again due to the actions of incompetent staff from United Premas.

I am sure in my conviction that it is their doing as nothing bad has happened to my motorcycles before United Premas took over. No scratches, no ripped covers.

In future I would advise that the United Premas company select their staff with more vigour, or at least teach them to respect other people's property.

I apologise if I sounded harsh in this email, but please understand my situation. I cannot keep paying for other people's mistakes.

Please forward this email to the relevant department so that I can be contacted to have the matter resolved and my compensation made.

Thank you for taking the time to read this email.

Best Regards,
Jazzyme (this one changed to protect my privacy on this blog, lah)

The ripped cover with my ear sticking out.

The parking tickets side by side and the position of the scratches.

The scratches. If it can be picked up by my lousy cameraphone, trust me, it's deep.

And the STAPLED on ticket.

Morons.

2009-09-04T22:45:00.002+08:00

你不想讲，我也不多说

I too feel that it's unfair. I too feel like being selfish. But WTF WTF WTF can I do about it?

So many things. So little time. Don't even have the time to talk.

Thing about blogging is, you look at your old posts sometimes and wonder why you were so emo. Then you look at your old posts sometimes and wonder when you were ever happy. Was is just two weeks ago I was blabbing about happier times?

Feels like an eternity ago.

2009-09-01T15:28:00.001+08:00

Happy Teachers' Day

Befitting that I spend my first Teachers' Day in tears over several issues.

Ummm-hmmm.

2009-09-01T14:59:00.002+08:00

.....

... nice people finish last.

... and I'm not going to be nice any more.

Fuck you all *points middle finger at the world*

2009-08-31T17:30:00.002+08:00

Fisheyes From Korea (Like.. Finally)

Went to Korea earlier this year with my mom and sister. That was like... either late March or early April. Brought along my infamous fisheye cam (strange how many people around me are suddenly interested in fisheyes after seeing my pictures).

Photos not in sequence.

Negatives

Notice the ending part of the word "Lomography" on the unidentified white object at the side. No wait, that's just my camera cover.

Slides (for those of you who've asked me what the difference was, see for yourself. The colours are more whacked out)

2009-08-30T15:27:00.007+08:00

I'm Still Pissed.

But what to do? This *expletives deleted* problem with blogger extends to it not auto-saving a draft before something catastrophic happens. *more expletives deleted*

I'll try to remember all that I can and reproduce what I've typed in the originl post.

Pictures from the Mayday event from earlier this year.

The Lazy accompanied me to queue for the Mayday tickets for their concert earlier this year.

They had this new marketing ploy for their latest album in which they include a voucher to exchange for a concert ticket. As with any Mayday events, the queues are exceedingly long. If you want to be there early, try at least 5-6 hours before the event, and you'll get a confirmed ticket. If you're there late, you might wait for around 2-3 hours, and you might not get the tickets at all.

We ran into Lazy's campmate somewhere along the line. Dude who's smiling at us, WK, was to accompany me for the actual concert later on (Lazy didn't get a ticket).

The ticketing started at 12pm. This was somewhere around 5pm.

The management should take a before/after picture of this area so they have a momento of when it was this crowded.

Aaanyway, the concert was held at Stadium Green. It was literally green, at the grassy patch right beside the North entrance of the indoor stadium. Thank goodness it was a clear night.

Again with the queue. Argh.

Aaaand THERE'S MY BOY!!!!

Hands offa him! HE'S MINE!!!

Isn't he amazingly awesome?

Isn't he amazingly cute?

He's so amazingly cute and talented.

No idea who this chick was. Apparently she's filling in while the band takes a rest.

After a breather, we get right back to business.

No idea who this was too. Guan You (the original drummer) was absent because his relative had passed away, and he was not able to make it).

My favourite photo for the night -

He loves me. Muahahahaha.

And then came the autograph session.

The very sweet Glantor accompanied me to central to queue, 4 hours in advance.

4 hours isn't long when you're playing Chinese chess with two chess masters.

Well, one, actually. I'm more of an impulsive person who does things first and then deal with the repercussions. That day I dealt with two lost games. Ggrrr.

Again, it was too long a wait to spend standing, so everyone was seated.

Seiryu dropped by in the evening to say hi.

And THERE THEY ARE!

He's so unbelievably cute.

No idea who this is. Some 93.3 DJ?

My rewards!

Note: One set (CD + Autograph + Poster) has been sold to CCS. No more for you guys!

Keep away from the child. Mama clean only! Muahahahaha.

2009-08-30T15:25:00.001+08:00

I'm Fucking Pissed

Seems every other computer has a key on the keyboard that either fucking shuts down AFTER I finish typing a long e-mail BEFORE I send it out, or goes back a page while I'm halfway through a long assed blog post.

Fuck you, keyboards makers who put dangerous keys near essential keys such as the fucking directional buttons!

2009-08-30T12:45:00.001+08:00

Pictures From The Father's Day Gathering

Baby girl gets some exercise.

Baby boy makes hilarious faces.

And random pictures of other interesting people.

We were all crowding around the computer because one of us is studying in Australia, and we were torturing her with Grandma's food over the webcam.

And now comes the unglam pictures part.

Pictures in lomo taken by Cudas, normal pictures (mostly) taken by the beautiful Lord(ess?) Jazzy.

2009-08-30T11:54:00.008+08:00

I'm Still Getting The White Screen

But what the heck. I been suffering from blogging withdrawal symptoms for quite a while. I've been so busy.

On a side note: If you want to get me, you need to give me at least two weeks notice. I can't help it, I don't actually like it, but I actually have to jam pack my days in advance. No time for blogging.

Anyway, I've uploaded these eons ago but haven't had the chance to post them. I'll be back to bolden the title when the problem gets resolved.

Credits are in the comic strip itself.

So I gave the Lazy a huge surprise some time back.

I conned him into driving me to Kallang leisure park to meet a friend, then conned him over to the indoor stadium, where I presented him with this:

Whoa, look at the date.

Aaron Kwok's concert! Lazy likes the Kwok Kwok.

The tickets came from my aunt Jennifer, who had to back out becauce her date backed out and she didn't want to attend it alone. We went there with Amanda, her friend.

The show was spectacular. Didn't expect him to still be able to dance to much. Was cool that he came out in a shower of golden dust.

As usual, he went through a montage of clothes and props.

and I caught him in hia MJ pose.

... and he walked out to touch the audience.

He's somewhere in that mess of people.

The coolest thing about this concert was that it had a record-breaking 360 degrees... "thingy"... for him to play in.

The freaking thing could split open too.

If you thought that was cool, look at what he's wearing.

Its like chain mail for the (slightly more) fashionable.

Apparently its made of some metal metal thingy, and weighs a hefty (???) (I forgot how much, lah) kgs.

And then he started playing with water.

The awesome thing? His pants were see through when it got wet.

Which got other parts of his female audience wet.

And here's him being decent again.

Cute, lah.

2009-08-30T11:50:00.001+08:00

Is It Just Me

... or is something seriously wrong with the blogger system?

I keep getting this colourless template, looks like HTML in beta. I can't bold the words, can't change the size, can't utilize a lot of functions.

I thought it was the centre's computer causing the commotion when I tried a week ago, but I'm typing this now from Lazy's laptop.

So... what's wrong?

2009-08-16T14:58:00.004+08:00

Confessions Of A (Very) Bored Teacher

Disclaimer: Mr Bryan, if you see this, please do not grade my work.

So on a perfectly lovely Sunday morning, Ms Jazzyme was hard at work, being a good teacher.

The kids came and went, temporarily filling the centre with laughter and innocent childish voices.

"Teacher, teacher, she draw on the board!" "Teacher I never!" "Teacher she pinch me!" "Teacher she never finish her work!"

And then it was all silence.

"You're going to be alright, girl," Ms Jazzyme muttered to herself. She hated to be alone at the centre. She was terrified of the Blue Room, where it was always dark, even when the day was at its brightest.

She turned the music on with the computer, from AOL Radio. Daughtry's 'No Surprise' was on. She liked this song.

"Files, files, files. Sleeves, sleeves, sleeves. Stapler, stapler, stapler. Staples, staples... staples?"

To her horror, there were no staples left! She pried open the stapler that she was holding. There was about a quarter of staples left inside. She crossed her fingers and hoped that the file she was about to duplicate would not require too many stapled documents.

So she began the arduous duplicating process. She seemed to work seamlessly with the trusty new copier machine, every movement gracefully cohesive with the speed of the documents the machine was spewing out.

It happened to suddenly that she didn't quite catch on initially.

"Ka-ching! Ka-ching ka-ching ka-ching ka-ching ka-ching ka-ching!" As with everybody else who's ever had staples run out on them in the midst of doing monotonous work, Ms Jazzyme pressed the stapler a few more times than was neccessary.

"What do I do now?" Mortified at the prospect of spending the rest of the day staring out of the window, she frantically searched the reception desk for any traces of leftovers.

It was then that she saw it.

It was beautiful. Big, bold and blue, it had a shine to it that practically screamed out to be used. It was big, with a real big bottom. She liked them big.

She grabbed it and dashed back into the office, where papers were strewn all over the table.

"Ka-snap! Ka-snap!" The powerful Big Blue has lived up to expectations. Despite its bulky size, it was surprisingly light and yielded to the touch. It vibrated in delight at being paid attention to once again.

Ms Jazzyme was enjoying herself with Big Blue, carefully counting the number of big staples left. With just 5 more plastic sleeves to go, disaster struck again.

Big Blue finally gave up, exhausted. Ms Jazzyme had been taking so much that it had nothing left to give. With the mountain of papers piling up on the desks and the copier machine still vomiting a warm stream of printed papers, she was desperate.

There was no time to mourn for Big Blue. Ms Jazzyme had to think fast. She strode up and down the length of the centre, as a thoughtful tiger contemplating its next prey would. Then something caught her eye.

It was tiny, hardly fit to be called Little Green. It was more of a Little Turqoise or a Little Cyan. Ms Jazzyme decided to call it Little Turyan.

Little Turyan looked weak and feeble, and Ms Jazzyme wondered if it would make it through the rest of the 5 sleeves.

Big Blue stared on with disregard, as if it half expected Little Turyan to break down upon first impact with paper.

Crossing her fingers, Ms Jazzyme held Little Turyan to the papers and pressed gently on its head.

"Ka-snap! " It let out a tiny, shy little click. It didn't break! Hurrah!

Little Turyan got bolder with each new click. By the end of the last plastic sleeve Little Turyan was booming away, making snapping sounds almost equal to Big Blue.

"There we are! All done!" Ms Jazzyme put the last piece of stapled document into its sleeve and put everything back into its place.

Big Blue stood regally next to Little Turyan, who looked equally satisfied with itself. Little Chomper, which was sitting nearby, occasionally used to take out staples from documents, looked pretty darn happy with itself.

All in a day's work for Ms Jazzyme. She put on a satisfied grin and sat back to watch the clock tick. Countdown to the end of a working Sunday begins!

Stay tuned for more exciting Adventures Of Ms Jazzyme At Work!

2009-07-25T15:33:00.003+08:00

This Is Amazing!!!

You won't believe what we saw just now as we were coming back from a day out with the dogs (and sperm pie girl)(not me).

We saw an enormous snake, making its gruelling way across the road! It was in Yishun, a couple of carpark entrances away from mine. It was literally crossing the road in a very pained manner. My guess is that it escaped from someone's house (because it's fat) and probably had been kept in a tank where it couldn't stretch out because it looks like it hasn't gotten the hang of moving around quickly.

Anyway, a few cars stopped for it while it crossed the road, and the Lazy puts the length at roughly 3 metres.

Big right?

I wanted to call the authorities before some uncle acts heroic and kills it, but the Lazy stopped me. Hopefully it'll make it into the park okay. And stay hidden there for the rest of its long life.

Should've stopped by the road and tried to look for numbers on its body, lor! It was directly opposite the 4D shop.

So cool, right?

2009-07-14T11:46:00.002+08:00

And The List Goes On

I beginning to feel more and more like one of Lemony Snicket's characters in A Series Of Unfortunate Incidents.

On top of all the unfortunate things that have happened to me recently, I got sick. Was feverish last night. Thankfully I felt better today, and I found out that I felt better from Lazy, who reached over and felt my forehead for temperature upon waking up, then gleefully exclaimed "Feeling better!". So sweet.

But that is not all. I have this sharp pain in the back of my mouth, on the left this time (it was on the right the last time). Almost the same story, my wisdom tooth is grinding into the bone at the back of my mouth. And, remembering the feeling of nerve upon nerve being ripped out, I am having second thoughts about going to the dentist. So for the moment, I'm looking like half a fat pig, with half my face swollen.

Still, that is not all. Remember my bike giving me yet more problems? Well, our weekend was so jam packed with other people's stuff (this happens every weekend; we hardly have time to ourselves) that we hadn't gotten a chance to even check out my bike. I don't know if it'll even start later for me to go to class.

Very nice, lah.

2009-07-10T16:25:00.002+08:00

Night Out With The Yongster

Random Squawk: I'm doing this post in office, with people behind me. Pardon the lack of explainations, then.

I met my dear cousin last night.

We went to Bliss Cafe.

We ordered the fiery spicy chicken wings, which looked like it was on fire.

Was fun. We should do this more often.

2009-07-09T03:58:00.002+08:00

Amazing

I got stuck on the road today. Twice. On the way back.

Lazy's verdict was that because I was running in the bike, I didn't clear the valve, and it got jammed.

Nice. And right after I bitched about how we're going through a rough patch. Guess it's not over. But it'll all be over soon, I am certain.

And oh yeah. Stay away from me. I feel the onset of an illness.

Oh shit.

2009-07-08T15:50:00.002+08:00

School Outing

Random Squawk: I'm kind of eating right now, so just enjoy the pictures, ya?

I'm hidden.

We brought the kids out for an excursion to the Botanical Gardens some time ago.

The winning team.

Nice?

2009-07-08T15:34:00.002+08:00

Security At Towkay Neo's House

Random Squawk: I've had these pictures in my blog folder for ages. I'll just unload them in a blur so you won't know that these are outdated.

You won't believe how tight the security is at towkay neo's house.

We were there some time ago for a gathering, and look what we had to do:

This is her kitchen. This is a corner of her kitchen. And those are...

... our phones. Security required us to surrender it to the kitchen, where we won't be able to contact the outside world.

....... nah, I'm just kidding you. That piece of kitchen counter is the only area on the second floor (where we were) that had reception. So when a phone rings, someone would run to the kitchen to pick it up.

Cool, eh?

Then I wanted to take a picture of how big the living room was, and Mr KS caught me.

Isn't he a happy fella?

2009-07-08T15:01:00.002+08:00

Rough Patch

The Lazy and I seem to be on a rough patch recently. Not with each other, of course, we've been just as loving.

Suddenly, there seem to be a problem with all our friends. My so-called most trusted friend suddenly started to ignore me again (I still have no idea why), and because he is something of a ring leader, the rest of the group can't be bothered to make the effort to contact me.

And for some reason, I get the feeling that people at work don't really want to talk to me either.

Lazy's friends are leaving him out too, not his campmates but that other group. Even if they ask him along on their gatherings, everybody wears a fake mask and puts on a front. And I found out things (again) from YF that made me regret putting my trust in certain people.

Thank goodness we still have a handful of scattered people here and there, enough to have an overflow of people during weekends for mahjong (yes, we are still playing it).

Our finance isn't working out for us as well. With credit card bills mounting and my bike repair costing $2.5k, we're essentially in the red.

Work seems to be going well for me though, although it isn't on his side. His commission's been cut, which normally wouldn't affect us, but what with the credit card bills and loans pressing on, it's harder than we thought.

And to top off the patch, in case you haven't noticed, I just quarrelled with my sister.

Just thank your lucky stars that I don't blow up often at my own family. Which means that when I do, it'll be bad. So would you prefer me to blow up every other day, or once in a blue moon?

But after all, no matter what shitty things happen, no matter how many of them happens togethher, it is still just a rough patch. As with rough patches, it'll be over soon enough.

When the world comes tumbling down, the opportunity rises to rebuild again. We can either grit our teeth and bore through it, or we take the ruins and make something better of it.

Now comes the question of how. It's ok, I'll work it out.

Anyways, while I was looking for my own link, I found this post from 4 years ago. Have fun.

2009-07-06T13:29:00.002+08:00

Bitch Of A Cudas

Firstly, it is not YOUR internet, its everyone's internet. It was just put in YOUR room at YOUR request initially. And just because the internet is in YOUR room, does not mean we fucking owe you a thing that we have to fucking grovel to you to turn it on, and you don't have to act like you're giving us the internet at great personal expense.

Secondly, you don't answer her calls because you are going out. You don't answer her calls because you are at home. You don't answer her calls because you are out with friends. You fucking don't answer her calls when you're out getting fucked in the middle of the night at 4.30am (without telling mom that you'll be home late, making her worry). And when you don't answer her calls, she calls me. Many times. And I have to fucking throw down whatever I am doing just to answer her calls ABOUT YOU. You fucking selfish cannot answer mom's call but run to the phone like a she-dog when some random guy calls.

Thirdly. There is such a thing as speaking normally. You don't have to fucking shout for every single fucking little thing that I do. I am not one of your NCC cadets. I don't fucking respond positively to shouting.

I let you slide with all your rubbish and nonsense without a word because you are my sister. But you fucking push and push, again and again. You're not even trying push your luck, you're acting like we all fucking owe you our lives, that our existance is purely to entertain you.

As much as I could grit my teeth and bear with it, there are going to be times when I blow up and start shouting back. Not that it means anything to you, you blow up almost every other day.

I hope you enjoy your day, bitch.

2009-07-01T14:16:00.001+08:00

Cute

"Bunny"

"Yes?"

"How come your girlfriend so pretty?"

"Because your boyfriend so handsome and capable."

My bunny is so cute.

2009-06-29T13:07:00.002+08:00

Congrats to Edwin & Mable!

Who got Leo and Kenneth to kiss mouth-to-mouth for your gate-crashing, and having such a wonderful wedding dinner.

Here's wishing you both nothing less than bliss together!

2009-06-29T12:09:00.004+08:00

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen

Save money - reuse a movie poster.

*Spoiler alert

So we went for our free movie yesterday (tickets provided by Lazy's boss, who got it in some car promotion, but did not want to go) right after someone came to view my bike (that I don't really want to talk about because frankly, $6k for my Boreas is something of an insult).

Seemed like everyone else had caught Transformers before we did. I actually didn't believe them when they said it was better than the first, seeing as how good the first one already was. Suddenly, a whole bunch of people in my friends' list became fans of Megan Fox. I think it was because of the slow-mo' run akin to Baywatch where she went doink-doink-doink, then falling down and squashing her hooters, pulling her top dangerously low.

Anyways, it was real good. It really was better than the first Transformers movie, which was saying a lot because it got the attention of a non-fan like me. I didn't watch the original cartoons and I didn't even know about the blue-eyes-good-red-eyes-bad thing until I watched the first one and Lazy explained it to me.

I can actually use three seperate words to describe this sequel.

Action (of course)
Artistic
And a hint of cheeky

The first movie got a bit confusing when the machines started fighting and you didn't know who was who. This one had a lot of ultracool slow-mo effects SHOWING you how the autobots killed the megabots.

I absolutely loved how our favourite machines first appear in the movie. They made super grand, super majestic entrances, each old favourite tugging at our heartstrings and each new entree (eg. the motorcycles) awing us. There was also the element of danger with the inclusion of two megabots who "defected" to the good side.

And there's the cheeky part where the little megabot turned autobot and went "Who's your little autobot?" and started humping Megan Fox's leg. Also, they took it one step further and gave the super megabot (I have no idea what that thing is called, its made up of different megabots), wait for it, iron balls. That hung from its crotch and clanged. It was unexpectedly hilarious.

I had my eyes wide open the entire show. We watched the movie at Cathay Grand, where the surround sound effects kept us on our seats the whole time. When the bombs were going off behind Shia Lebouf and Megan Fox, you actually felt the dull thud resonating in your chest, as if a real bomb went off somewhere nearby. I think it was only at the Cathay Grand that we could feel this.

And the perfect icing on the 2009-movie-cake-of-perfection, was Tyrese Gibson.

Baby Boy.

If you want to see perfection in chocolate, Tyrese Gibson is the answer. Doesn't really help that you can see his ass in an already censored version of Baby Boy (playing on HBO, usually in the middle of the night for some reason)

Now, perfection comes in army uniform (I have something of a fetish for army-clad men). Double perfection, tripled with the perfect 2008 action movie of the year. I think I can die happy now.

*sighs contentedly*

2009-06-22T22:33:00.000+08:00

Nice Song

It just seemed..... fit, for today. This is today's song.

2009-06-15T13:28:00.003+08:00

Ever Wondered How Old Hokkien People Have Sex?

Random Squawk: I am such a dirty, dirty girl.

*grunts*

"Eh, ai lai liao, ai lai liao." Eh, I'm coming, I'm coming.

"Ho liao buey?" Are you done?

"Dan ze dan ze, ai ho liao." Wait wait, almost done.

"Kin leh, wa ba liao." Hurry up, I'm numb.

*grunts some more*

"Ho liao." Done.

*rolls over and sleep*

Makes you wonder. How do the Hokkien women of old react during sex?

2009-06-13T16:16:00.002+08:00

You

You can't resist a good reason to see him alone without me, to touch him right?

You know what? Go ahead. Take it as my pity for you, I allow you to touch him.

But only for tonight. Because I think closet-homos are quite poor things, having to scamper and hide like rats in the sewer because they don't want people to know that they're homos. Come out into the open, lah, nobody will laugh at you. We're an open society now.

Even he finds you disgusting.

2009-06-08T16:04:00.010+08:00

几米

Note: This is a Chinese-heavy post. But if you're interested, Jimmy's books are now available in other languages. It takes out some of the magic, but you'll get the gist of it. Also, I think only the Chinese version is available in Singapore now, so you'll have to get it off the net for English.

So I was at Ms Linda's house yesterday and while they were playing bridge, I got caught on a Discovery Channel special called Portraits Taiwan, which featured Taiwan's renowned artist, Jimmy.

It showed his life, and his work. I've already read his books (Cudas is a huge fan, she has all his works), but I was itching to get my hands on them again.

I took out his Beautiful Solitude (又寂寞又美好) and The Moments (照相本子) to read today.

Let me share some of the magic with you. From The Moments:

The translation (for all you Chinese-cannot-read-Chinese people, *ahem*Lazy*ahem*Botak*ahem*June*ahem*etc*) goes something like this:

"We agreed to meet at our usual place, I waited the whole afternoon, but you didn't appear.
Somehow I did not feel especially sorrowful.
I just nonchalently stared at the corner of the street where you are used to coming from.
Thinking about the past, the sweetness is no longer sweet, sadness is not longer sad.
Do you still remember the kitten we picked up, Kiki? That whole afternoon it was accompanying me.
Until I decided to fully give up, it jumped into the trees behind me, and disappeared."

It kind of loses its magic once his words get translated. Learn Chinese, lah.

On the facing page is a close up of the doggie.

"I always hoped that someone somewhere was waiting for me...
You too hope that somewhere someone is waiting for you..."

Most of his works in this book is out of the blue. He just adds a title, a watercolour painting that he does himself and jumps straight in, pulling you behind. It hooks you from the gut and jerks you right into the picture and right into how he's feeling at that point of time when he's drawing the picture.

His art reflects himself, and how he feels. Which is why the following pieces, from Beautiful Solitude, makes me want to cry.

"Febuary seventeen Weather is wet and dark

In such a sorrowful time,
She tried hard to remember,
Tried to fully reiterate,
She loved when she was young
A poem."

And the next one drives me nuts.

"March thirty-first Weather is clear

We just hug,
We only know how to hug,
But hugs are hard to last.

Only through strength of death,
Can we forever be hugging together."

But you still have to know the why. Beautiful solitude was produced after he was diagnosed with brain cancer/leukemia/something life-threatening, and so his paintings became dull and grey, just like how he was feeling inside. The picture above signify himself, his wife and his little girl, hugging together.

So for all the artists in you, get Jimmy's books. There's quite a collection, some happy, some sad. They're good for children because they're colourful and drives wild a child's imagination, and thought-provoking for adults too.

Buy buy buy!

2009-05-29T14:46:00.001+08:00

Christians. Yet. Again.

Cover-Backside Declaration: I am not saying that Christians are bad. I am merely showing my dear readers the antics of fanatic Christians that appear on the news. I am not saying that there aren't good Christians, I'm just saying that there're too few of them.

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/afp/20090528/tap-singapore-crime-religion-06f3cb7.html

No, serious. And right after the AWARE incident too.

Do you think the fanatics in Singapore are going crazy?

I for one actually love our Malay/Muslim counterparts here despite all you racists around me. They can be so much more friendlier, more understanding and I love the fact that they're so family-orientated.

Plus the fact that they don't push their religion in your face.

2009-05-29T03:09:00.002+08:00

My Recent Posts

... are freaking depressing, lah.

And all because of one person.

But I don't want to talk about that person anymore, because Lazy's cleared up a lot of things with me on that issue.

Lazy's MINE! *points middle finger at that guy*

Anyways, things are looking up. Not going great, but definately looking up.

We're booked solid through the weekends now. You need to get a reservation 2 weeks in advance for weekends now.

Someone's coming to view my bike on Saturday. I hope he takes it.

2009-05-25T14:56:00.002+08:00

MAYDAY!

We're going to the MayDay concert in August!

As many of you know, I am a ridiculously huge MayDay fan (and so are thousands of other MayDay fans).

Photos from their last concert and autograph session.

So I went queueing for the tickets yesterday and got stuck in front of and behind 2 pairs of females. There's a pair who cut the queue right in front of me, and a pair who came after me.

I ended up listening to their mindless female banter for like 4 hours. Okay, Lazy was with me for the first 2 and a half hours, after which he had to leave for his guitar class, so I got stuck with eavesdropping on other people for 1 and a half hours.

Oh. My. God. This is why I don't have close female friends. It's like making permenant awkward small talk and apparently these girls enjoy it.

Guys genuinely want to know about each others small/disgusting/random nonsense (to make fun of), and it's generally more interesting to talk to guys because it's a whole lot funnier. Even the serious stuff get turned into nonsense. Girls, just talk to each other about their day, or in this case, their trip to wherever in a super bimbotic way. It didn't help that one of the girls apparently had trouble pronouncing the letter R in Chinese, so 日本 came out sounding like 乐本.

It's excruciating.

And to make matters worse, I was wearing my 5-inch heels. Ouch.

Thank goodness we got good seats close to the external stage. I think I'm going to reach out and trip anyone who walks down that runway.

Three tickets again, this time hopefully CS can make it because it's more expensive than the last time we went.

2009-05-20T14:51:00.002+08:00

The Makings Of A Bitter Old Lady

I'm falling and I don't know where I'll land.

Do I look okay to you? I hope I do, because that's what I want you to think so you won't constantly ask me why I am sad.

There's a constant ache in me that I rub salt on every time I think about the kind of person you've become. You're no longer morally upright, and I can't help but attach a face to you and wonder why. Your words don't mean squat now that you can so easily turn around and say "the others are doing it."

There's a constant wound in me that I tear open every time I smile at you or give you a kiss.

At the ruins of what was once a stronghold, the tears come far more easily than they used to. But not in front of you, never in front of you.

What would become of me if I were to show more of my vulnerability to you?

Leaving seems inevitable, at this rate. I don't know how long I can keep up this front, this smiling, everything-is-ok front and watch you be taken away.

Yes, it feels like you're being taken away from me. This is why I'm feeling more and more alone as the days pass, even though you're right next to me. You're simply not there anymore.

I can't bring myself to trust your words anymore.

2009-05-18T14:18:00.002+08:00

口得

Associating with you has made me become as juvenile and as horrible as you have been almost all your life.

So for the sake of not turning into you, I shall reserve some dignity and 口得.

.... Until the next time you step on my tail.

2009-05-17T15:06:00.002+08:00

Manipulation At Its Most Obvious

This post is for documentation, in case somebody asks me to give an example of how manipulation looks like in its raw form.

You pester and guilt-trip the fuck out of somebody for weeks, first trying to get him to come out before our Bali trip and failing which, constantly reminding him that you are going to meet his sister the week after and you hope that he will be there. Yes, you did not directly say that he HAS to be there, but you pestered and guil-tripped him so much that he had to go because you had manipulated him into thinking that he owes you something.

Count how many times you "reminded" him *guilt-trip comes free with every SMS!* within a span of 2 weeks. Before AND after Bali. Which reminds me, I saw the jealous SMS you sent to him directly before we went to the airport. What, to make sure he remembers you during his trip overseas with me?

So, after we've established the fact that you pestered and guilt-tripped the fuck out of him for two weeks to meet up with you (no girlfriend allowed, please, but your sister can come), you turn the tables on that day itself.

Suddenly, you become ever so slightly gracious, telling him that it's ok if he cannot make it. Suddenly you start to care if he would get into trouble for meeting you. Suddenly, your horns disappear and you try to make yourself out to be an angel.

Not-so-suddenly and not-so-unexpectedly, you throw in the "don't want another round of bitching" at the end of your SMS. Which obviously points to my blogging about things related to you i.e his attitude and behavior changes whenever you come into the equation.

So let me break this down even further for those who are thick in the skull and needs things to be broken down to their molecular base.

1) You want to meet my boyfriend and I am not allowed to go. Everybody else in the world can go, just not me.

2) You pester my boyfriend to meet you until he gave in.

3) Suddenly, at the last minute, you pretend that you have accepted that he will not be able to make it because according to your insinuation, I would've stopped him from going. You pretend that you actually cared if he would encounter any problems with meeting you.

What this does to the person you are aiming at: He would feel that suddenly he has a choice as to whether or not to meet you, as opposed to no choice because you kept pestering him before, but chooses to meet you anyway because he's already cleared his day for you and you were already there.

Essentially, he would think that it was his own choice to meet you, and that it was his own choice to abandon his girlfriend.

4) You add in that last bit about his girlfriend bitching about you.

What this does to the person you are aiming at: Doing this at the height of your newfound graciousness in giving him a choice, you are making yourself out to be a good and innocent person, who is bashed up by this monstrousity of another person's girlfriend who tries to stop him from meeting you and who bitches about you when he does.

While this is not entirely untrue (I admit to trying to discourage him from going, but I did not stop him), but when put into your context makes him think that I am the horrible one who bitches for no reason about you (which I clarified, the bitchings weren't about you before you took it into your own hands and decided that they were).

Essentially, causing him to think that I am a horrible person.

As he clarified, he is not such an idiot to be easily affected by other people (at least he thinks he isn't), the fact is you tried to treat him like some idiot.

How's that for breaking down your manipulation?

As usual, I have to state that I don't care anymore whether or not people manipulate him or stomp all over him because it is his problem and not mine, but I will stand up for myself even if he doesn't. When it affects or involves me, I will have to stand up and put my foot down.

End of documentation.

PS: For the rest of my dear readers. I know you guys are getting sick of reading about this creep of a person, who is appearing a lot in my recent posts.

I don't usually dwell on someone or something for long, but this time, this one person's affected me so bad that I can't sleep well at night for all the injustice he's done to me and my life.

If it were as simple as me and this creep it'd be over in a few seconds. But because this creep has a hold on my boyfriend, who acts and thinks around this creep, and my boyfriend is (or going to be was) my life, it's hard to pull my hands out of this muck.

The one good thing that came out of this was that I can finally meet my friends again after a few years of not being able to meet them because of the boyfriend, but the bad thing is that he makes me feel dirty for meeting my friends even though I only choose to meet them during the times that creep meets him.

So people, you can ask me out alone, but please keep yourself free and online after we go home because I'd need somebody to keep me company for awhile because the boyfriend sure wouldn't.

2009-05-15T23:57:00.003+08:00

Bitchin'

I bitch, but it's not about you anymore. Stop thinking of yourself as the center of the world. Nobody's interested in you anymore. They just pity you.

And you're loving the pity-fest, because at least you get the attention you so desperately crave.

Then again, for insinuating that I bitch (which I do, I just buey-ge-yan you saying it to the dude that you like to step all over), I shall continue calling you closet-homo.

You closet-homo. Get off my boyfriend!

And wait, didn't you vehemently deny when asked if you read my blog?

Doesn't this just prove otherwise?

2009-05-15T11:37:00.002+08:00

Garment

No, we're not talking about clothes today.

Today, we're playing with fire.

This fire involves SHUTting UP AND SITting DOWN, and how the garment stood idly by letting it happen.

For those who haven't heard the clip, I've edited it into a video for you.

You need to turn the volume way up to be able to hear clearly. But no matter how loud you crank up the volume, you won't be able to hear Sally Ang's apology (because she refused to).

Some dude said, at that point in time, that the garment will not do anything about it, because blah blah blah blah blah, which when translated into our non-elite and caring language means "None of my business."

But now, some other dude's come up with "the *censored* has to maintain order impartially. It encourages the development of civic society, and gradual widening of the out—of—bounds (OB) markers. But it will not stand by and watch, when intemperate activism threatens Singapore society"

That's like me saying that you falling down in front of me is not my business, but I will not stand by and watch you fall down.

Umm hmm.

I get this feeling that the garment didn't want to get involved in the first place because it involves a major religion. What if the secular organisation was really taken over by the mutants from COOS? There was this possibility, and the garment stood by to let it happen.

What if it was a minority religion take took over the organisation? Would the garment immediately step in or stand by as they did the major one?

Food for thought. Hmmm.

2009-05-14T14:09:00.003+08:00

Back To Square One

History's repeating itself.

Mmmm hmmm.

I wonder who instigated this.

It might be me.

And yes! I lied just now. Even for a little bit.

However juvenile this sounds - You don't know just how much I hate you right now.

2009-05-14T03:59:00.002+08:00

True Friendship Means

... Never having to lie to each other when you have to leave early.

What the fuck is wrong with saying that you want to go back and be with your girlfriend?

What the fuck is wrong with even calling your girlfriend in his prescence?

Why did you have to lie?

Is this your concept of true friendship?

Maybe one day I shall take up lying too. See how fun it can be.

2009-05-14T01:58:00.002+08:00

Animosity

If you're not doing anything to make me feel better, why should I be doing anything to make you feel better?

Well, at least I tried.

What the fuck did you do?

Face the other side and give a face.

I'm sick of your double standards.

2009-05-13T13:24:00.003+08:00

Tonight

Tonight, I let that closet-homo win.

Purely because I found out myself a few days before and had the mental preparation for today. He didn't even bother to tell me. And it's not the first time after I made it clear that he has to give me mental preparation way before, which makes his apology redundant.

Redundant. As I said before, I give up, I'm dead inside, yadda yadda yadda, nothing you can do that will hurt me anymore, etc etc.

And also coincidentally, one of my readers Bret asked me out for dinner. Which takes my mind off all the really gay things some guy is going to do to my boyfriend.

Now it's no longer about how shitty that guy is treating my boyfriend (by the way, you can all treat him like shit, I don't care anymore), but how gay it gets.

Girls. Imagine some guy pawing at your other halves, begging for attention. And your guy succumbs to him, and only him, the way a guy would succumb to a skirt.

Something wrong?

Dude's lost his girlfriend, now he's throwing his emotional burdens on my boyfriend. Which is why it's gay. Got nobody to call (actually you got many, lor, don't know why you keep calling my boyfriend only), call my boyfriend. Got nobody to share feelings with, share with my boyfriend. Got nobody to kiss and fuck?

I am so not touching Lazy tonight. Just in case.

PS: I think I'm going to want to talk to one of Lazy's friends one of these days. Have a good bitching session with him.

I think I'm going to call YF.

2009-05-13T12:27:00.004+08:00

Bali Trip 2009

As many people know, this was my first trip overseas without my mom. It was pretty relaxing and nice to be able to make my own decisions as to where to go, what to do and what to eat.

The entire trip costs us S$2000, with the flight tickets taking up $800+ (including airport taxes in SG and travel insurance). We took a transit through Jakarta because it would mean that we'd reach Bali earlier, instead of the direct flight by evening.

So we had an hour to spend in Jakarta. We could've gone out to walk around, had it not been for the kaypoh porter who shoo-ed us into the gantry again so we only had the duty-free area to walk around in.

So the first thing after we bought me a Krispy Kreme donut (why didn't anyone tell me their glazed donuts were so good?) was to ask for coffee and smokes.

We saw smoke wafting up near the Coffee Bean area, so Lazy tried his luck.

Apparently you can smoke EVERYWHERE. Irritating.

Because Garuda Indonesia was such a small squeezy plane, I had a constant headache going on that day. So when we flew over Bali, I missed this:

Taken by the Lazy. Actually, the digicam was with Lazy, so all pictures were taken by him. I brought the LCA, which I didn't finish because the sun wasn't very cooperative during the entire trip, and I'm too lazy to bring the roll of film for developing.

When we reached, the reception told us that they were out of double rooms (meaning one king-sized bed), and asked if we were okay with a twin room (meaning two single beds). We took it, what choice did we have? At least the reception was very polite and very apologetic about it.

The porter of the place very enthusiastically took our bags and lead us to our room. While we waited, they did the most amazing thing ever. They actually pushed both the single beds out and pushed them together. Then they tied the legs of the beds together, stuffed what looked like a very skinny bolster in between the cracks of the two beds, covered the entire thing up with a soft comforter (for lying on) and another comforter (for covering).

Does this look like two single beds to you?

And the rest of the room..

People like us don't use chairs to sit on. People like us use chairs as dumping grounds.

It was an awesome room! For that kind of rates (SGD$244.00 for 4d3n), I half expected it to be spartan and the reception to be those heck-care types. But noooo, the reception and even the room cleaners surprised me with their warmth and hospitality.

It was already near evening so we unpacked and made our way to the beach, which was a 5 minutes' walk away.

It was beautiful.

And we had our first seafood dinner at this place just outside of our resort with a swimming pool in the middle of the restaurant.

This entire thing for 2, consisting of lobster, huge chunks of grilled squid, fish, and king prawns, was only 400,000 rupiah, which converts to about SGD$57. Not bad, considering the lobster we had.

The best part of it was that we could smoke at the table immediately after the meal.

Which Lazy, being the smoke machine he is, made full use of before and after the meal.

After the meal, we went for some slightly high class spa which costs USD$100 per couple for Balinese massage, body scrub, bosy mask, foot wash and head and neck massage.

The next day, we engaged a tour guide from the resort to bring us around on the tour package.

Your standard tour guide will cost around USD$35/pax a day for 4 rushed destinations. We got this one, his name is Robie or Wayan Surtika (too many Wayans there, so he called himself Robie) (apparently Wayan means number 1 in Balinese). His rates are standard, the resort sets them, and he doesn't jack up the price.

3 places of interest at a relaxed pace, for only USD$15/pax a day. On top of that, he entertains us at the places by telling us the history of the place, meanings of the statues and talks to us throughout the trip in the warmth and hospitality that is Bali.

The first day, we chose the Tanah Lot Sunset package. Tanah Lot is what Lazy describes as what looks like a temple in the middle of the sea during high tide, and a holy spring at the bottom of the rock during low tide.

The first stop was at Mengwi, the royal family temple of Taman Ayun.

I know, I look ridiculous with my new sunglasses.

The next stop was Kedaton, the nature reserve for monkeys and bats.

Apparenyly the monkeys are friendlier here, as the guide tells us, the monkeys here don't steal things or claw people.

Lazy got scratched for that picture.

Bats!

The last stop was at Tanah Lot itself, where apparently a shopping hub for tourists had sprung up in recent years.

We found this place where the waves wash up against the rock and tried to capture it while the waves were at their highest,

And at last we got a bit of it. Lazy got wet and fed-up, so we didn't continue.

Thus ends the Tanah Lot journey. One last very important note if you intend to go: Bring very strong mosquito repellent. There's like an army of commando mosquitoes stationed at Tanah Lot.

That night, we went for another massage near our resort. I forgot how much it was, but it was much much much cheaper than the slightly high class one we went before, without being sleazy. It still looked presentable, with an air-conditioned lounge with sofas at the entrance.

After having our muscles relaxed, we made them hard again by walking to the hard rock cafe some way off the beach, this time a half- hour walk.

Along the way we passed by many cafes and restaurants, and nightspots. And a McDonald's. And there was this dark stretch of road, lit only by the constant traffic where there was a row of people calling out to tourists as we walked by.

"Marijuana!" "Hashish!"

For the record we didn't buy any. But now you know where to get them when you're needing some in Bali.

Back to the journey,

We reached near midnight, and the band was going strong. I've never been to a Hard Rock Cafe before, but I loved it! The music was awesome!

We didn't enter the disco though, Lazy just wanted to buy something from the store.

It was closed. Dammit. (We went back and got what we wanted the next day).

We woke up early for breakfast the next day, and had a bit of time after some shopping before our tour was arranged. And so we jumped into the pool.

I started feeling the pain on my skin from the sun first, so I got out and took pictures.

Here's the Lazy being VERY relaxed (and slowly turning into a lobster).

Our first stop that day was at GWK (name too long to remember), a cultural park boasting the tallest statue in the world (in the making).

There was a free henna tattoo session, and being Singaporeans, we rushed for the freebies.

This is part of Krishna's face, you'll get to see the actual statue later.

This is what happens when Lazy holds the camera. Kuku face from me.

These are the hands of the tallest statue in the world (in the making).

The next stop was at Uluwatu, where there was a beautiful cliff temple boasting of hundreds of (gasp!) monkeys. Again.

But to its credit, Uluwatu is a really nice place.

Apparently we couldn't enter the area wearing shorts, so we had to tie a sarong around us.

Eyes off the kukubird, please. Lazy took this photo because the monkey was munching on someone's scrunchie. Apparently the monkeys here do snatch things from tourists.

The people praying in the temples.

That's Robie, our tour guide behind us.

I took the following one.

Our last stop was supposed to be at Jimbaran Bay along the beach, but it was closed. Oh well. We had another big lobster that night.

The next day was our last. We only had a few hours before heading to the airport, so we decided to make the best of it by shopping and walking around.

Lunchies and horseplay at the swimming pool restaurant again.

One last look at the beach during the day.

And then it was time to go.

On reflection, it was really a good trip. The Lazy and I only had time for each other and no one else, which was great because for once, he actually turned off his phone when out with me. No hour-long phone call from customers or his boss to ruin the date!

And he was surprisingly enthusiastic about everything too, which was a refreshing change from his usual self.

All that ended once we touched down in Singapore. His foul mood came back, phone calls came in, and he would go "huuuhhhhh" wheneven I suggest doing something.

In a sense, Bali was a dream. Short, but oh-so-very sweet.

2009-05-13T12:15:00.003+08:00

Remember Her?

Susan Boyle, who took our hearts by storm with her "frumpy" looks her powerful voice.

Now there's another one, who stole my heart, also from the same country (same show, actually).

Everybody, this is Greg Pritchard.

A face you can't just look at once, with the voice of an angel to boot.

Stunning.

2009-05-12T22:10:00.002+08:00

The Other Him

He's starting his incredibly girl (read: gay) activities again.

Come on, lah, admit that you're gay and I'll let you pester my boyfriend. I'll even let you squeeze his tush.

Just admit it.

2009-05-12T16:01:00.001+08:00

Sneak Peak from Bali

What have we done?

.... you'll find out soon!

2009-05-12T12:33:00.001+08:00

I'm Back!

... from Bali!

But you'll just have to wait til' I get around to editing the pictures from Lazy's camera. For some reason I feel incredibly sleepy now.

I think I'll go take a nap.

2009-05-05T03:32:00.002+08:00

Liberation

Feels good to actually not care so much. Woohoo~

It appears that we've gone back to where we used to be. Or at least, for him maybe.

I would say that it would take much effort to get me to start caring or even feeling again, but knowing him as I do, it's not going to happen. He's not going to do anything at all.

So yay.

2009-05-03T23:31:00.003+08:00

Get A Life

To one and all reading the recent posts and rubbing their hands in glee - Get a life.

Come on lor, get a life. I didn't even gloat when that other guy lost his job (although I did gloat a little when he lost his girlfriend).

Get on with your life, lah.

2009-05-03T23:24:00.003+08:00

Can't Be Bothered

I'm taking a step back to solve this thing and you're just pushing forward with your blames - can't be bothered.

Your friends call you - can't be bothered to ask you to meet them.

He lies there like a dead fish - can't be bothered to tell you to go and talk to him.

You feel unhappy - can't be bothered to cheer you up.

You don't know where to go for the weekend - can't be bothered to be the one always thinking of places to go and things to do.

Since you said it's your problem and not mine.

I simply can't be bothered to anymore.

My biggest mistake was telling you to shift your chair over to talk to him.

2009-05-03T22:27:00.005+08:00

委屈

I gave in. When he didn't reply I almost gave up. Luckily he replied in the end.

At this point the blame is still on me (even though he was the one who got angry first during what was to be an amicable communication session) because he feels I wouldn't admit to not wanting him to go meet him because I don't like him. So I deserve this kind of treatment. Pretend I'm invisible the whole day, throw his clothes on me, all just because he think I don't want to admit.

I'd have thought it was obvious enough that I don't like the other guy. Also, not liking him wasn't the whole reason I didn't want him to go and meet him. I didn't want history to repeat itself and have that guy treat him like shit (why, oh why do I not want others to treat him like shit?)(please go ahead, treat him like shit for all I care now), and I didn't want him to be a hypocrite (for saying that that guy was shitty and should be taught a lesson and all that jazz, and still go out and pander to him like his dog)

And because I hated this kind of animosity, I gave in.

And he's still pushing, finding more things to blame me about.

And I think I'm going to give in more.

And die inside.

Like I did.

Two years ago.

Not that he actually cares anymore. He will only treat me nice when I buy things like guitar hero for him.

And because I am semi-broke, I shall begin building my walls again because he won't be treating me nice until I buy the next expensive thing for him.

Dead inside. Again.

2009-05-03T19:52:00.002+08:00

凶

你以为，你的脾气发得比我凶，就代表你是对的吗?

你以为，东西丢得大力一点，就代表你赢了吗?

赢输对我来说，跟本都不重要。你要赢，我可以次次都让你赢。

最重要的是你要明白我的心酸。

根本都不明白我的出发点就大发连续几天的脾气，很好玩吗?

还有你。站在中间那个你。你也看到了。他为了你对我发那么大的脾气，你高兴吗? 你也赢了。

而我。就只能坐在这里。陪着把我紧紧捆绑的手铐，我唯一的朋友。

你可以去与你的朋友见面。我却只能呆在家里，像小狗般的坐在门口等着你回来。

公平吗?

2009-05-03T15:28:00.004+08:00

AWARE's Christian-y E-mail

This is getting fun.

http://unbrandedbreadnbutter.wordpress.com/2009/04/24/are-you-aware-email-is-evil/

Everyday there's something new.

UPDATED: OMFG this is good. This is freaking good.

From http://wayangparty.com/?p=8905&cpage=1

Download the voice clip. It's freaking hilarious how they want to promote women's rights by asking them to SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!

Christians. Must be some school principal from some oppressive school who only want their way and refuse to listen to reason. (my old secondary school, for instance) (*ahem*northviewsecondary*ahem*).

The above clips provided by Seiryu. Thanks dude!

2009-05-02T23:40:00.002+08:00

空虚

我和你之间多出了一份空虚，一份怀疑。

站在你我之间距离里的正中央，是从来都没离开过的他。吵得再凶再猛，也比不过为他而吵的心酸。

可笑的是，我既然为了另一个男人，不，是另一个男孩吃醋，而且还是大壶大壶的吃。

不明白也就算了。你却竟然还说，你和他之间，不关我的事。

也好，也好。

今后我的感受，我的所作所为，我的心声，也从此就不再关你的事了。

Enjoy your newfound freedom.

2009-05-02T23:16:00.004+08:00

Oh Yeah Oh Yeah!

From http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/426519/1/.html

New Exco of AWARE given vote of no confidence

By Pearl Forss, Channel NewsAsia Posted: 02 May 2009 2015 hrs

SINGAPORE: The new executive committee (Exco) of Association of Women for Action and Research (AWARE) has been given a vote of no confidence, almost six hours after the extraordinary general meeting at Suntec City started.

The vote of no confidence was passed against the new Exco with 1414 votes to 761 votes.

Later, the motion to remove the new Exco from office was passed, and the motion to elect a new president was also passed.

Ms Josie Lau and her exco have stepped down.

Former president Dana Lam was elected as the new President.

The old guard of AWARE had tabled a vote of no confidence in the new Exco after the new Exco was voted in at an annual general meeting at the end of March amid much controversy.

Auditing firm Deloitte was tasked to count the votes at Saturday's meeting.

Only ordinary members are allowed to vote. AWARE has 3,000 members, up from some 300 members a month ago.

The new Exco said it wanted to bring AWARE back to its "original cause", as it alleged that the Old Guard was steering AWARE into becoming a single purpose organisation, overly concerned with promoting lesbianism.

It was dramatic marathon session which started at 2.40pm.

One Malay Muslim woman said she was not comfortable with an-all Christian and all-Chinese group representing a secular group like AWARE. And members of the Christian faith stood up and said the action of the new Exco set back constructive dialogue between Christians and secularists in Singapore.

Over 90 per cent of the people who spoke up said they were against the encroachment of religious values on a secular space.

Emotions ran high and at times, then-president Josie Lau called on security guards to escort members of the Old Guard out, though the order was not eventually carried out.

The new Exco had disallowed Channel NewsAsia from bringing its cameras in at 2pm when the meeting started, but at 4pm, Channel NewsAsia's reporter managed to walk in unopposed as security guards were busy trying to control agitated members of the crowd.

And many members of AWARE were also twittering and updating their blogs from the venue.

One member said: "We are here because we were deeply troubled by how this Exco came to power. We are here because we are troubled for the usurpation of civic space and the lack of respect for the values of pluralism, democracy that this new Exco has demonstrated."

Meanwhile, there may also be a financial dispute at issue.

Under the constitution, the Exco is not allowed to spend more than S$20,000 and if they do, they must consult members.

The new exco spent S$90,000 in the last month, and this outraged members of AWARE who said the money could be put to better use.

They said such "cheque book" mentality is unacceptable in a non-governmental organisation, where every cent counts.

Members said the new Exco has to be individually accountable for that money spent, so there is a high chance there could be a lawsuit coming up. - CNA/ms

Thanks to Seiryu for this update!

Oh yeah, this is the other link for the new president and her exco stepping down -> http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/Singapore/Story/STIStory_371618.html

I have only one comment.

... graciously my foot.

2009-05-02T17:45:00.000+08:00

Silence

You are unable to answer to your hypocrisy. You kept silent when confronted with it, hoping that doing so will get you off the hook for whatever you are about to do. You kept silent yet again, when the topic was brought up again.

Unfortunately, silence doesn’t get you off the hook. It doesn’t mean I am content with the excuses you give to me. It doesn’t mean that yet another episode will be overlooked.

Too much, too fast again. History’s posed to repeat itself, yet again.

It’s funny how you can cause me to blog about this again after the numbness. It’s funny how this issue comes up, with the same person over and over again.

It’s funny how I think I can’t trust you that much again.

Your very-reassuring silence.

2009-05-02T14:56:00.002+08:00

Hello Hazel

I get the feeling you're reading me. Here's one for you.

Looks like you and Wayne. Hehe.

2009-05-02T14:45:00.003+08:00

Snippets on AWARE

AWARE's old guards take a seat back and let level-headed Christians reason with their own no-so level-headed kind.

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=74852826540&comments

So the legends are true. There ARE good Christians who think things through and weighs the situation instead of blindly believing and pummelling us heathens' heads to a bloody mangled pulp to force us to believe too.

As Brian Griffin from Family Guy describes Christians in a few short words, "Believe me or I'll hurt you. How very Christian."

2009-05-02T14:11:00.002+08:00

Have I Told You Lately, That I...

........

Passed my Class 2 test?

Now it's just a matter of time.. And this'll be my new baby boy.

Suzuki GSXR-750. I still have no idea what to call him. I've been mulling over Sakhmet a long time, but I don't think it's lucky to associate my new baby boy with death.

Will probably be getting one once I turn full-time. Mmmmm.

2009-04-29T19:08:00.002+08:00

Dream

I dreamt that I found him. Or at least, he found me. I brought him to see the Lazy, and introduced him to all my friends. He took me to see the other close friend we once had.

My primary school friend.

I don't know why this is so important to me, but that maybe I spent the most innocent part of my childhood with him. Way before the differences of the sexes came in, we were friends.

I miss that friendship.

2009-04-29T18:42:00.004+08:00

What We're All AWARE Of

Random Squawk: I apologise to Christian friends for this post who don't feel the same way as the people in the hostile takeovers do. I apologise to all Christians who don't persecute homosexuality.

The following represents my views and my views only. Despite that I shall not be held legally responsible if those involved get pissy and decide to do a King of Singapore on me.

I feel, personally, that a certain organisation was created 26 years ago to protect and help the women in our society. Because women are weaker, strength comes in numbers, and strength also comes from each other's support, this organisation was created.

Women, meaning ALL women, regardless of religion, sexuality, and preferences.

Women should be helping and protecting women, not finding a difference and start persecuting other women who have different religions/sexualities/preferences. If women persecutes women, what do they have an organisation protecting women for?

The organisation should change it's name to Association of Christians for Protection (of other Christians and the people who support them) and Persecution (of people with a preference other than theirs).

At this point, let me bring in yet another factor. In Gen 3:16 it says that women are in "suffer in sorrow" of childbirth because women ate the apple in the Garden of Eden. So doesn't that create a conflict of interests? If women are to push the teachings of the Bible into the non-believers' faces, then why in the first place take over an organisation vowing to protect the interests of women? Shouldn't they, as Christian women, allow the sufferings of all women to continue because we apparently "ate the apple from the Garden of Eden"?

Not to mention the teaching of the big brown book that Eve came from the *gasp* ribcage of Adam, which is why women are never equal to men. Try believing in that, and then taking over an organisation vowing to promote equality between the sexes, and then tell me you're not a cuckoohead.

Also, when one doesn't like the ways of an organisation and wants to take actions to go against it, the civil way is to start another organisation with the aforementioned name. Not instigate an aggressive takeover by the members of a religious organisation of what was once a peaceful organisation dedicated to helping women.

How barbaric.

My last cent into this matter is - everybody has a right to their own preferences. No one person has the right preference, or the wrong preference. No one person should force their thinking onto others as well. I may like animals more than humans, you may hate them and wish they were all dead. I don't persecute you, you leave me alone.

Remember, the kind of people who managed this hostile takeover are the kind of people who instigated the 15th century Spanish inquisition. Seems they haven't stopped their activities since.

Let's see if there's going to be (yet) another bloodshed in the name of religion.

Random Squawk II: By the way, what's wrong with homosexuality? It's so sexy. Just look to the left.

2009-04-27T17:19:00.002+08:00

Jitters

Class 2 TP is tomorrow, and I missed my circuit revision today because of some shitty thing.

Anyways, the Lazy and I are heading for our first ever trip overseas together! We're going to Bali!!

It's special because I've never been overseas without my mom before (useless, ain't I), and I've never been overseas with him before. So this is a significant first for me. Not really sure if it's as special for him.

We went for the cheapest way possible. I found the accomodation, and he booked the air tickets. For some weird reason, it's freaking expensive to go there at this time of the year.

Air tickets, for a transit through Jakarta, costs $384 per person including taxes and such. Accomodation, we could've easily went for the USD29 Kokonut Hut thingy, but it might spoil the trip for us. Instead, Lazy decided on the 3-star Rama Gardens priced at S$244 from www.octopustravel.com. Cheaper than the travel agency was offering, considering they were also taking from octopustravel.

We're going from 7-10 May, so this 4D3N trip costs us SGD$1062 (air tickets+ accomodation + travel insurance) not counting the SHOPPING! I hope they have nice clothes there.

We're so excited!

2009-04-24T17:13:00.002+08:00

Oh God No

Someone was showing me someone else's facebook profile just now, and I realised something.

That guy went to Korea recently too! What's worse, apparently he took the same package and went to all the same places that I did. He just missed me by a few days.

Eeww.

You ever believe that people's lives get entwined after their paths crossed long ago? Lazy's past went to London the same time as he did, and mine went to Korea the same time as I did.

Double eeww.

2009-04-21T15:24:00.003+08:00

Baby Girl

She's ok now, except for feeling very sleepy and lethargic all the time. Doc says that it's normal for her to feel sleepy after a seizure.

Yes, she had a seizure. Doc says she doesn't feel it, she doesn't even know she had a seizure.

He took her blood (a lot, of her blood) for testing to find out what caused the seizure. He says that we may never find out, it may be due to old age. Hopefully, this is a one time episode that's not going to happen again.

She's been sleeping the whole night and all of today. Wouldn't even lift her head when her daddy came back yesterday. All she does is wag a bit of her tail.

But she looks ok when we brought her down for her nightly walk. Able to run around and smell things, albeit slowly.

Hopefully this lethargy doesn't last long. It's breaking my heart to see her like this.

2009-04-20T15:03:00.002+08:00

Shock

My baby Tracy, a CKCS who is 10 years old since last November, gave me a shock today.

As usual on a lazy Monday, I was planning to sleep in til at least 3 in the afternoon.

Tracy woke me up at 2 with her barking. Something was wrong. She usually doesn't bark at home, and this was no excited barking. This was painful barking + wailing. She didn't stop when I picked her up. When I laid her out on the bed, she became paralysed and didn't want to move, giving me painful whines now and then.

I got so scared that I started crying when I called the AAVC located at Yishun. I told the person who picked up that it was an emergency and he got the vet rushing back to the clinic (it was closed at that time).

Then when I was getting myself ready to go out, she slowly walked out from the carrier and walked into the living room. And then she started wagging her tail. So I called the clinic and told the guy that Tracy was able to walk again, and he told me that that's usually the case for seizures. He also reminded me that the vet was rushing back to the clinic, so it would seem horrible of me not to go.

Then when I was waiting by the roadside with Tracy in a doggie carrier, the guy called again to tell me that the vet was in the clinic. My guess was that it was Dr Kenneth Tong, cuz there was the voice of a guy in the background instructing him.

He said that if Tracy seemed ok, the doctor advises me to go to the clinic only at 5pm so I can avoid paying the $80 emergency surcharge.

So get this. I ruined his break for today, and he's helping me save money. Sweet guy, right?

AAVC - Animal & Avian Veterinary Clinic. Blk 716 Yishun St 71 #01-254 - Dr. Kenneth Tong

I'll update more when I get back from the clinic later.