Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Recent updates
.. or as I prefer to call it "Posting of Random Photos because I'm too Lazy to attach a story behind every one" *evil grin* So bite me. Muahahahaha~
Our first Swensen's ice-cream together! Obviously the photo-blogger in me couldn't let such an opportunity pass.
And then the sweet girlfriend in me couldn't let pass an opportunity to take loving photos together as well.
And on top of that, I distinctly remember my Lazychoo promising to take me for a ride on the hot-air balloon *hint hint*.
Well I forgot to add this in on my post regarding the me-and-lazychoo-are-ok post. I kind of got to know from a friend that Lazychoo's telling them not to side me anymore so that "I will learn". He says I think I'm always right. Well hey, I AM always right. Because I don't do things against my conscience and if I did, I'd admit it. I own up to things I've done upon questioning, and not give crap answers and find some other topic to digress.
Feels kinda' weird though, having someone whom you trust the most do this to you. It's like spreading poison among your friends to turn them against you. That's the bad thing about having shared friends I guess. Maybe I should get my own friends.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LazyCAT.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Updates on my room...
About the trophies. I've decided to keep them. Who knows, they may serve as great ashtrays in near future.
A lifetime of achievements squeezed into one box. Isn't that just great.
Mom was eating in her room while I was cleaning and ignoring my dog, so imagine my surprise when I took a fiver and found her sitting there,
waiting for food from mom, which was impossible since my mom would rather eat a sock than to feed her.
Since I'm cleaning out everything, many things that tugged on my heartstrings had to go. Like this,
and this.
Others, however much I'd like to have more space, simply cannot go. Like this hourglass from an ex-ice-skater, who wanted me to treasure my time,
and this little dude, who's all that's left of my sleepless days.
I used to have a whole bunch of these mini tots on my bed back in my old house. Because of my insomnia I played with them silently every night, using the curves and crevices of my blanket I used to explore the most exotic places with the most unusual animals right on my bed.
But anyway the rest of the mini tots got soaked through by a can of Pepsi that exploded in my cupboard (long story) so he's all that's left.
These two came from when I was a wee toddler. Along with a whole bunch of other soft toys (three huge black garbage bags to be exact) they're going to the Salvation Army. Somebody please reccommend someplace else because I don't owe the Salvation Army anything. They're acting like its their divine right that I donate something, First they ignored my email, and after sending a repeated email with a harsher tone they're asking me to wait till mid of July before they can come pick the things up. Irritating buggers, I feel like donating the stuff to the karang-guni man more than them, but I think of the children.
Ah well.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
8.45pm Yesterday.
Alone.
In my room.
Night falls.
There's this sudden feeling of lonliness. This sudden feeling of being engulfed.
Engulfed. Funny how sometimes words get stuck in your head.
Engulfed by the darkness. Engulfed by the lonliness.
I wished the night would come and take me away.
I sat down in a dusty corner and began to cry. I don't know why.
Everything is coming along nicely. Yet it felt as if the world was crashing down around me.
Devestation. Destruction. People running and crying.
Where is my baby? Where is my son? Oh my god she's dead! Have you seen my husband?
People shrieking. Ambulance comes too late.
It's all in my head.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I think I won't be in a good mood for these few days until my room is done. I mean, look around your room.
See that favourite soft-toy over there? Or perhaps a picture frame from a special occasion? Or even a couple of books, CDs, albums. They're all a part of your room. They're all a part of you.
What if one day you have to tell yourself that you have to remove them? That you have to throw them away to make way for new things coming into your life? That you had to throw away the past to make way for a change in your life?
They were once part of you. Now they're nothing but garbage in someone else's eyes.
Would you be in a good mood?
Wait, I'm talking about material things here. Stuff that has no feelings whatsoever. Making way for more stuff that has no feelings. I'm not talking about people here, so you can forget about the not letting go of past because it's a part of you thing.
Look, if I can do it, I don't see why you can't. I can let go of my 2 carat engagement ring. Screaming and kicking, I know, but I let it go. Can you let go of the pictures?
No, you can't. And I have no right to ask that of you. I can only blame myself for being so stupid as to let the ring go for your sake.
....................
Wait, why am I even on this topic?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Him.
Taps my shoulder from behind. "Hey you."
Looks back. "Hey! Didn't expect to see you here." But of course I expected, he's only living nearby.
"Haven't seen you in awhile. You've gotten thinner." Yea right, like everyone else hasn't already told me that.
"And you too. How're things going for you?"
"Well everything's fine. Company up and running, no longer messing with the old group, how're things for you?"
"I'm fine too. Waiting for money to fall out of the sky so I can study."
He laughs.
"Still the same old you, I presume?" Puts a hand on my shoulder.
"No, not the same old me." Shrugs his hand away. "I'm not who I used to be."
"Well I can see that." Backs off. Lady walks up behind him and takes his arm. "Erm, Jazzy, I want you to meet my wife. Lily, this is Jazzy."
"Hi Lily." Eyes grow cold. She takes my hand and shakes it. Whispers into his ear.
"Er Jazzy, sorry but I've got someplace else to be."
"Sure. Nice meeting you, ----, and you too Lily. "
His eyes roam over my face. Searching for something. Sees only stone-cold expression.
Heaves a sigh and then he's gone.
I don't ever want to see you again. You who saw through my strength and wilfulness and saw a little girl crying out for help. You who told me I would've made a good... wife. You who went ahead and got married not two months after I found out the truth.
I never... ever want to see you again.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pak-tor session with Lazychoo again! I don't think I'd ever get tired of running around in pak-tor mode with Lazychoo *grins*
Can you guess where we went?
It's become a ghost town already, what with all the attractions down and the place seemed dead.
But anyway, I had fun while Lazychoo got dragged around to see the statues with me. He was pretty tired that day, which did dampen my mood a little bit but hey, we're out together, that's all that matters.
Went to look for CS later on at night that day and took a couple of artistic pictures while waiting for him to come back from a delivery.
Lazychoo looking stony,
And our Macdonald's delivery guy, CS.
End of incredibly long photoblog.
.. or as I prefer to call it "Posting of Random Photos because I'm too Lazy to attach a story behind every one" *evil grin* So bite me. Muahahahaha~
Our first Swensen's ice-cream together! Obviously the photo-blogger in me couldn't let such an opportunity pass.
And then the sweet girlfriend in me couldn't let pass an opportunity to take loving photos together as well.
And on top of that, I distinctly remember my Lazychoo promising to take me for a ride on the hot-air balloon *hint hint*.
Well I forgot to add this in on my post regarding the me-and-lazychoo-are-ok post. I kind of got to know from a friend that Lazychoo's telling them not to side me anymore so that "I will learn". He says I think I'm always right. Well hey, I AM always right. Because I don't do things against my conscience and if I did, I'd admit it. I own up to things I've done upon questioning, and not give crap answers and find some other topic to digress.
Feels kinda' weird though, having someone whom you trust the most do this to you. It's like spreading poison among your friends to turn them against you. That's the bad thing about having shared friends I guess. Maybe I should get my own friends.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LazyCAT.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Updates on my room...
About the trophies. I've decided to keep them. Who knows, they may serve as great ashtrays in near future.
A lifetime of achievements squeezed into one box. Isn't that just great.
Mom was eating in her room while I was cleaning and ignoring my dog, so imagine my surprise when I took a fiver and found her sitting there,
waiting for food from mom, which was impossible since my mom would rather eat a sock than to feed her.
Since I'm cleaning out everything, many things that tugged on my heartstrings had to go. Like this,
and this.
Others, however much I'd like to have more space, simply cannot go. Like this hourglass from an ex-ice-skater, who wanted me to treasure my time,
and this little dude, who's all that's left of my sleepless days.
I used to have a whole bunch of these mini tots on my bed back in my old house. Because of my insomnia I played with them silently every night, using the curves and crevices of my blanket I used to explore the most exotic places with the most unusual animals right on my bed.
But anyway the rest of the mini tots got soaked through by a can of Pepsi that exploded in my cupboard (long story) so he's all that's left.
These two came from when I was a wee toddler. Along with a whole bunch of other soft toys (three huge black garbage bags to be exact) they're going to the Salvation Army. Somebody please reccommend someplace else because I don't owe the Salvation Army anything. They're acting like its their divine right that I donate something, First they ignored my email, and after sending a repeated email with a harsher tone they're asking me to wait till mid of July before they can come pick the things up. Irritating buggers, I feel like donating the stuff to the karang-guni man more than them, but I think of the children.
Ah well.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
8.45pm Yesterday.
Alone.
In my room.
Night falls.
There's this sudden feeling of lonliness. This sudden feeling of being engulfed.
Engulfed. Funny how sometimes words get stuck in your head.
Engulfed by the darkness. Engulfed by the lonliness.
I wished the night would come and take me away.
I sat down in a dusty corner and began to cry. I don't know why.
Everything is coming along nicely. Yet it felt as if the world was crashing down around me.
Devestation. Destruction. People running and crying.
Where is my baby? Where is my son? Oh my god she's dead! Have you seen my husband?
People shrieking. Ambulance comes too late.
It's all in my head.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I think I won't be in a good mood for these few days until my room is done. I mean, look around your room.
See that favourite soft-toy over there? Or perhaps a picture frame from a special occasion? Or even a couple of books, CDs, albums. They're all a part of your room. They're all a part of you.
What if one day you have to tell yourself that you have to remove them? That you have to throw them away to make way for new things coming into your life? That you had to throw away the past to make way for a change in your life?
They were once part of you. Now they're nothing but garbage in someone else's eyes.
Would you be in a good mood?
Wait, I'm talking about material things here. Stuff that has no feelings whatsoever. Making way for more stuff that has no feelings. I'm not talking about people here, so you can forget about the not letting go of past because it's a part of you thing.
Look, if I can do it, I don't see why you can't. I can let go of my 2 carat engagement ring. Screaming and kicking, I know, but I let it go. Can you let go of the pictures?
No, you can't. And I have no right to ask that of you. I can only blame myself for being so stupid as to let the ring go for your sake.
....................
Wait, why am I even on this topic?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Him.
Taps my shoulder from behind. "Hey you."
Looks back. "Hey! Didn't expect to see you here." But of course I expected, he's only living nearby.
"Haven't seen you in awhile. You've gotten thinner." Yea right, like everyone else hasn't already told me that.
"And you too. How're things going for you?"
"Well everything's fine. Company up and running, no longer messing with the old group, how're things for you?"
"I'm fine too. Waiting for money to fall out of the sky so I can study."
He laughs.
"Still the same old you, I presume?" Puts a hand on my shoulder.
"No, not the same old me." Shrugs his hand away. "I'm not who I used to be."
"Well I can see that." Backs off. Lady walks up behind him and takes his arm. "Erm, Jazzy, I want you to meet my wife. Lily, this is Jazzy."
"Hi Lily." Eyes grow cold. She takes my hand and shakes it. Whispers into his ear.
"Er Jazzy, sorry but I've got someplace else to be."
"Sure. Nice meeting you, ----, and you too Lily. "
His eyes roam over my face. Searching for something. Sees only stone-cold expression.
Heaves a sigh and then he's gone.
I don't ever want to see you again. You who saw through my strength and wilfulness and saw a little girl crying out for help. You who told me I would've made a good... wife. You who went ahead and got married not two months after I found out the truth.
I never... ever want to see you again.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pak-tor session with Lazychoo again! I don't think I'd ever get tired of running around in pak-tor mode with Lazychoo *grins*
Can you guess where we went?
It's become a ghost town already, what with all the attractions down and the place seemed dead.
But anyway, I had fun while Lazychoo got dragged around to see the statues with me. He was pretty tired that day, which did dampen my mood a little bit but hey, we're out together, that's all that matters.
Went to look for CS later on at night that day and took a couple of artistic pictures while waiting for him to come back from a delivery.
Lazychoo looking stony,
And our Macdonald's delivery guy, CS.
End of incredibly long photoblog.
Jazzyme; 信 7:55 PM.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Time to blog
Well there is absolutely nothing to do today (I left my job by the way. Long story.) and my itchy fingers decided to do a little bit of exercise.
Lazychoo's still in camp, probably sleeping. The poor thing's just came back from outfield training. He's probably flat out by now.
Nothing much has happened these few days except that I am still in the process of cleaning up my room (gasp!) and it is here I shall show you the horrors.
No wait, my camera's not cooperating with me at the moment. Here are photos I took of my room long before I started cleaning it.
Let the horror show begin.
My so-called "study" table,
My so-called "dressing" table,
The area where I dumped everything when I started cleaning last year,
The "walkway" to the door,
And a chair posing as my bedside "table".
Fantastic, isn't it? I was completely contented with the arrangements because only I know where everything was. I only started cleaning when even I don't know where some of my things are.
Moral of the story: Keep track of where your things are.
Now let's see if the camera's willing to cooperate now. *takes brave stab at connecting camera...*
HaHA! Voila! Here we go!
Looking from the door inwards..
View from the windows.
See the little dudette there following me around despite the dust that was flying around everywhere?
She's my sweetest little girl.
Anyway, in the midst of cleaning I found a LOT of heartwarming things like this:
A tinkling music comes out from the box when you wind the tiny handle on the side, playing some Disney music. This is like, the only remnent of souveniors we brought back from Disneyland. Might not seem much to you, but it's a treasured piece of mine.
And these,
are my primary school basketball training/tournament jerseys.
I tried to keep them for as long as I could, but after digging them out I realized that the memories they brought back were more pain than heartwarming, so out they go! They're probably all cut up and sewn together as a rag lying under some dog or cat all the way in NANAS, alongside all the clothes I donated.
This is my empty bookcase which hasn't been empty since I moved here,
and it feels really weird having it empty. It's been in the family ever since my sister and I were wee tots crawling about. Now it's gotta go since I'm changing all the furnitures in my room.
Herein lies a hidden treasure trove..
inside one of the cupboards.
Here.
These were arranged in a fit of don't-know-what-to-do-with-the-empty-cupboard feeling and by and by I've come to love it. Everything in the room was cleared out except this cubbyhole. I just don't know what to do with it. I'd dearly love to keep it there, but I'm demolishing my bed sometime next week and they simply HAVE to go. But.. aaww.. I don't know what to do..
Ok, these were taken out of my wardrobe and meticulously arranged just for this picture. I need your advise, dear readers.
Should I keep them or throw them away?
In this pile there are small achievements and blardy huge achievements. Small meaning school races, school high jumps and stuff. Big achievements being inter-zone basketball (Gold), national basketball (Gold), Overall division champion, cross-country races, inter-school cross country races and stuff like that.
These are the remnents of the glorious days. Thing is, I don't want to look back at past achievements. I only want to look forward on push myself harder. But whenever I look at this pile here I feel a rush of pride that keeps me pushing myself harder, but there's also a feeling of lingering sadness. Those were the days. They're gone now. They're memories of another life that I'm not living now. Sigh.
Should I hang on to them, or let them go and become mere memories?
Okay, back to the topic at hand, this is me having my feet up after a day's hard work.
And this is me being itchy handed with my camera in hand disturbing my birds.
Cash acting cute and pretending to be a bat.
Hopefully I find the courage to clean up the bed-cupboard today!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
More reports of recent happenings..
Super sua-ku(mountain tortoise. i.e. a person who's never been around much)'s very first time at Cosy Bay (that explains the pictures).
See that red dot on top of a building on the left?
I was staring at it the whole night, pretending that it was Sauron's eye (from Lord of the Rings).
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Have I or have I not posted this before?
Found this lying around somewhere in my pictures folder and thought you guys might like to see. This is proof of how good a rider yours truly is!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is Tiny on the way to work.
And this is Tiny at work. Phew! *wipes sweat off brow*
And from the place where we caught Tiny, comes Jazzy and Lazychoo's first ever sticker photo after so long together. Finally.
Aaww..
Looking at it still makes me swoon~
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Artistic photo alert!
Here's Lazychoo and his colleague with too much time on his hands.
And here bro Vik after parading around in MY cardigan.
Couldn't get a photo of him actually wearing it, he wouldn't let me.
Here's Lazychoo messing around with Ben's suit.
"Lacer" Lazychoo.
And last but not least, MY BIKE ALSO HAVE CHAI! I have proof of it! See!
I can be ferry vegetables too, just like any of you guys can!
Haha.
Well there is absolutely nothing to do today (I left my job by the way. Long story.) and my itchy fingers decided to do a little bit of exercise.
Lazychoo's still in camp, probably sleeping. The poor thing's just came back from outfield training. He's probably flat out by now.
Nothing much has happened these few days except that I am still in the process of cleaning up my room (gasp!) and it is here I shall show you the horrors.
No wait, my camera's not cooperating with me at the moment. Here are photos I took of my room long before I started cleaning it.
Let the horror show begin.
My so-called "study" table,
My so-called "dressing" table,
The area where I dumped everything when I started cleaning last year,
The "walkway" to the door,
And a chair posing as my bedside "table".
Fantastic, isn't it? I was completely contented with the arrangements because only I know where everything was. I only started cleaning when even I don't know where some of my things are.
Moral of the story: Keep track of where your things are.
Now let's see if the camera's willing to cooperate now. *takes brave stab at connecting camera...*
HaHA! Voila! Here we go!
Looking from the door inwards..
View from the windows.
See the little dudette there following me around despite the dust that was flying around everywhere?
She's my sweetest little girl.
Anyway, in the midst of cleaning I found a LOT of heartwarming things like this:
A tinkling music comes out from the box when you wind the tiny handle on the side, playing some Disney music. This is like, the only remnent of souveniors we brought back from Disneyland. Might not seem much to you, but it's a treasured piece of mine.
And these,
are my primary school basketball training/tournament jerseys.
I tried to keep them for as long as I could, but after digging them out I realized that the memories they brought back were more pain than heartwarming, so out they go! They're probably all cut up and sewn together as a rag lying under some dog or cat all the way in NANAS, alongside all the clothes I donated.
This is my empty bookcase which hasn't been empty since I moved here,
and it feels really weird having it empty. It's been in the family ever since my sister and I were wee tots crawling about. Now it's gotta go since I'm changing all the furnitures in my room.
Herein lies a hidden treasure trove..
inside one of the cupboards.
Here.
These were arranged in a fit of don't-know-what-to-do-with-the-empty-cupboard feeling and by and by I've come to love it. Everything in the room was cleared out except this cubbyhole. I just don't know what to do with it. I'd dearly love to keep it there, but I'm demolishing my bed sometime next week and they simply HAVE to go. But.. aaww.. I don't know what to do..
Ok, these were taken out of my wardrobe and meticulously arranged just for this picture. I need your advise, dear readers.
Should I keep them or throw them away?
In this pile there are small achievements and blardy huge achievements. Small meaning school races, school high jumps and stuff. Big achievements being inter-zone basketball (Gold), national basketball (Gold), Overall division champion, cross-country races, inter-school cross country races and stuff like that.
These are the remnents of the glorious days. Thing is, I don't want to look back at past achievements. I only want to look forward on push myself harder. But whenever I look at this pile here I feel a rush of pride that keeps me pushing myself harder, but there's also a feeling of lingering sadness. Those were the days. They're gone now. They're memories of another life that I'm not living now. Sigh.
Should I hang on to them, or let them go and become mere memories?
Okay, back to the topic at hand, this is me having my feet up after a day's hard work.
And this is me being itchy handed with my camera in hand disturbing my birds.
Cash acting cute and pretending to be a bat.
Hopefully I find the courage to clean up the bed-cupboard today!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
More reports of recent happenings..
Super sua-ku(mountain tortoise. i.e. a person who's never been around much)'s very first time at Cosy Bay (that explains the pictures).
See that red dot on top of a building on the left?
I was staring at it the whole night, pretending that it was Sauron's eye (from Lord of the Rings).
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Have I or have I not posted this before?
Found this lying around somewhere in my pictures folder and thought you guys might like to see. This is proof of how good a rider yours truly is!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is Tiny on the way to work.
And this is Tiny at work. Phew! *wipes sweat off brow*
And from the place where we caught Tiny, comes Jazzy and Lazychoo's first ever sticker photo after so long together. Finally.
Aaww..
Looking at it still makes me swoon~
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Artistic photo alert!
Here's Lazychoo and his colleague with too much time on his hands.
And here bro Vik after parading around in MY cardigan.
Couldn't get a photo of him actually wearing it, he wouldn't let me.
Here's Lazychoo messing around with Ben's suit.
"Lacer" Lazychoo.
And last but not least, MY BIKE ALSO HAVE CHAI! I have proof of it! See!
I can be ferry vegetables too, just like any of you guys can!
Haha.
Jazzyme; 信 1:57 PM.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Just for the record
We're ok again. Went rounding alone on Friday (hit 175km/h this time), didn't expect him to come chasing after me. Didn't get to know it till I reached home and he waited downstairs not telling me until he got fed-up enough to leave.
We both sat down and had one of the most serious talks yet. Settled both our differences and more or less let go of a lot of things.
Now that we've become slightly inseperable, he's in reservist! Urgh! For five days! Sigh...
Anyway, lots of things to say, but not in this post because firstly, I don't remember what it was that I wanted to say and secondly, I wanted to keep this short and simple.
I can't believe I'm actually being stubborn with my boss right now! No, don't start scolding me yet, I don't even know what I'm doing. Ah well, Everything will work itself out in its own time, I guess. If not, I'm sure I'll come up with something.
We're ok again. Went rounding alone on Friday (hit 175km/h this time), didn't expect him to come chasing after me. Didn't get to know it till I reached home and he waited downstairs not telling me until he got fed-up enough to leave.
We both sat down and had one of the most serious talks yet. Settled both our differences and more or less let go of a lot of things.
Now that we've become slightly inseperable, he's in reservist! Urgh! For five days! Sigh...
Anyway, lots of things to say, but not in this post because firstly, I don't remember what it was that I wanted to say and secondly, I wanted to keep this short and simple.
I can't believe I'm actually being stubborn with my boss right now! No, don't start scolding me yet, I don't even know what I'm doing. Ah well, Everything will work itself out in its own time, I guess. If not, I'm sure I'll come up with something.
Jazzyme; 信 2:41 PM.
Friday, June 16, 2006
Blog war
You want to have a blog war? Fine, LET'S FREAKING HAVE a BLOG WAR.
http://www.kchoo.blogspot.com/
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*EDITED POST*
Rants deleted because of intrusion of privacy.
I'm going to just let him say what he wants and walk away. No use squabbling like little children.
Just for the record though, The things he blogs and the comments he leaves adds to the fact that I'm doing the right thing.
Oh well.
You want to have a blog war? Fine, LET'S FREAKING HAVE a BLOG WAR.
http://www.kchoo.blogspot.com/
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*EDITED POST*
Rants deleted because of intrusion of privacy.
I'm going to just let him say what he wants and walk away. No use squabbling like little children.
Just for the record though, The things he blogs and the comments he leaves adds to the fact that I'm doing the right thing.
Oh well.
Jazzyme; 信 5:47 PM.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Unpublished posts to be published
... or not, depending on results of big upcoming argument (that's either going to happen tonight or never) with Lazychoo.
No explanations given. I've had enough.
... or not, depending on results of big upcoming argument (that's either going to happen tonight or never) with Lazychoo.
No explanations given. I've had enough.
Jazzyme; 信 4:08 PM.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
World Cup is here
Call me mad but I DON'T like world Cup. Don't want to touch too much on this topic (in case I get rammed over by world cup fanatics) but please be careful with your bets. If you lose a significant amount of money and it only affects yourself, that's fine. But if it will indirectly affect your family and others around you, please think twice.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Recent bout of horrible mood has turned me vengeful. I'm starting to hate anyone who backstabs e, flames me, gossips about me, turns others against me, lies to me or does anything to let me down on purpose.
I think I'm not being unreasonable on this issue because I live by my words; I do not do any of the above until the person in question starts doing them to me first.
A friend of a friend has a LOT of comments about me. Come on dude, I don't even know you, what rights do you have to judge me? You say I'm quiet around you guys, but talk a lot with my biker friends, and why is that?
1) Because my biker friends don't judge me or tell rubbish to my boyfriend about me.
2) Because my biker friends don't give me the feeling that I am constantly under their judgement, the feeling that you have always given me.
3) Because I know them better than I know you.
4) Frankly, I'm just not interested in talking to you. Because our interests are not the same, we can't find topics to talk about. All you guys talk about is cars, school, soccer, drinking, or even the past. I don't know how to talk to you guys about your topics, except for maybe the past, and Lazychoo won't like it if I started talking about his ex-girlfriend, would he?
If you want to judge me, I'd suggest you look for someone else to judge/gossip about. I don't care and I have no interest in what you say, and I can't help it if you want to poison Lazychoo's mind against me. First you say I'm too fierce and controlling. Like hello? I'm fierce with others, but have you ever seen me controlling Lazychoo? Have anyone at all?
No. Because I listen to him and give in most of the time on what we want to do. Because I've changed so much for him and him only. But you don't see that, do you?
Get your fucking facts right before bad-mouthing me.
I'm not going to make the effort anymore. Ah fuck, this is making my mood more sour. I don't need to clarify myself and explain my actions anyway.
End of discussion.
Call me mad but I DON'T like world Cup. Don't want to touch too much on this topic (in case I get rammed over by world cup fanatics) but please be careful with your bets. If you lose a significant amount of money and it only affects yourself, that's fine. But if it will indirectly affect your family and others around you, please think twice.
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Recent bout of horrible mood has turned me vengeful. I'm starting to hate anyone who backstabs e, flames me, gossips about me, turns others against me, lies to me or does anything to let me down on purpose.
I think I'm not being unreasonable on this issue because I live by my words; I do not do any of the above until the person in question starts doing them to me first.
A friend of a friend has a LOT of comments about me. Come on dude, I don't even know you, what rights do you have to judge me? You say I'm quiet around you guys, but talk a lot with my biker friends, and why is that?
1) Because my biker friends don't judge me or tell rubbish to my boyfriend about me.
2) Because my biker friends don't give me the feeling that I am constantly under their judgement, the feeling that you have always given me.
3) Because I know them better than I know you.
4) Frankly, I'm just not interested in talking to you. Because our interests are not the same, we can't find topics to talk about. All you guys talk about is cars, school, soccer, drinking, or even the past. I don't know how to talk to you guys about your topics, except for maybe the past, and Lazychoo won't like it if I started talking about his ex-girlfriend, would he?
If you want to judge me, I'd suggest you look for someone else to judge/gossip about. I don't care and I have no interest in what you say, and I can't help it if you want to poison Lazychoo's mind against me. First you say I'm too fierce and controlling. Like hello? I'm fierce with others, but have you ever seen me controlling Lazychoo? Have anyone at all?
No. Because I listen to him and give in most of the time on what we want to do. Because I've changed so much for him and him only. But you don't see that, do you?
Get your fucking facts right before bad-mouthing me.
I'm not going to make the effort anymore. Ah fuck, this is making my mood more sour. I don't need to clarify myself and explain my actions anyway.
End of discussion.
Jazzyme; 信 1:34 PM.
Friday, June 09, 2006
The sweetest thing
A couple of days ago, we were on Lazychoo's van cruising along back home after our meeting with his friend.
It was a refreshing change after having to ride whenever we wanted to go anywhere. Cool air in my face, streetlights slowly passing by to the rhythm of the music we had on. Chit-chatting sweet nothings as we cheerfully made plans for the future.
Our plans for the future.
Not much the commitment part (I don't want to touch on that) but more for the earn-enough-money-so-our-lives-can-be-easier part. We planned to have a little shop selling things that we have interest in, and to do even more sidelines along the way.
Although some of the things we planned are not entirely feasible, what with the amount of capital needed and whatnots, but the sweetest thing was that he planned them with me. That he sees much of me in his future.
My concept of love has changed a lot throughout my relationship with Lazychoo, it has twisted and distorted until it has become barely recognisable by outsiders. But that night in the van, the feeling that Lazychoo gave me was very, very familiar. It feels just like when we were a new couple, right before reality and differences wrecked us both to the point where both of us did not know each other anymore.
Except that this time. the feeling is coupled with the experience and the knowledge that we're both strong enough to have gotten past the initial period (the period where the relationship is the weakest) and can still love each other, if not more. And it's the sweetest feeling, ever.
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Doesn't matter that his friends don't really like me, I'm in love with him, not them, so it doesn't really matter to me.
No more letting people walk all over me. You can all go stick a loaf of bread up your arses and die of flour poisoning (or something) before you even think about stepping all over me, making use of me or backstabbing/gossiping/judging me.
So there.
A couple of days ago, we were on Lazychoo's van cruising along back home after our meeting with his friend.
It was a refreshing change after having to ride whenever we wanted to go anywhere. Cool air in my face, streetlights slowly passing by to the rhythm of the music we had on. Chit-chatting sweet nothings as we cheerfully made plans for the future.
Our plans for the future.
Not much the commitment part (I don't want to touch on that) but more for the earn-enough-money-so-our-lives-can-be-easier part. We planned to have a little shop selling things that we have interest in, and to do even more sidelines along the way.
Although some of the things we planned are not entirely feasible, what with the amount of capital needed and whatnots, but the sweetest thing was that he planned them with me. That he sees much of me in his future.
My concept of love has changed a lot throughout my relationship with Lazychoo, it has twisted and distorted until it has become barely recognisable by outsiders. But that night in the van, the feeling that Lazychoo gave me was very, very familiar. It feels just like when we were a new couple, right before reality and differences wrecked us both to the point where both of us did not know each other anymore.
Except that this time. the feeling is coupled with the experience and the knowledge that we're both strong enough to have gotten past the initial period (the period where the relationship is the weakest) and can still love each other, if not more. And it's the sweetest feeling, ever.
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Doesn't matter that his friends don't really like me, I'm in love with him, not them, so it doesn't really matter to me.
No more letting people walk all over me. You can all go stick a loaf of bread up your arses and die of flour poisoning (or something) before you even think about stepping all over me, making use of me or backstabbing/gossiping/judging me.
So there.
Jazzyme; 信 6:17 PM.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Suffering from blog withdrawal symptoms
.. and basically internet withdrawal symptoms, headaches, chest pains, feeling very nauseous now and then. No, I'm not sick, I just feel unwell. Went to the doctor's just now, and he referred me to the polyclinic for a check-up.
Since my last post it's all work, meet Lazychoo, sleep, work, meet Lazychoo, sleep. Somebody please give me my life back! It's like I have totally no time for myself, to sit back, relax or even just to use the internet for more than 10 minutes.
I'm going crazy here.
Can't think clearly to type much, so here are some pictures to keep you entertained.
Here's my office table:
Slightly closer..
Here are the high technology whatnots I use everyday. What I don't understand is that I actually have to use BOTH the notebook and the PC AT THE SAME TIME.
Somewhere on the table lies a pile of tissue paper,
And for those of you close to me, you know I don't like bringing tissue paper around because they can somehow evolve from a nice packet into a messy ball wad outside of the packet. Then why-oh-why do I have 3 unopened packets and one half used packet on my office table?
These came from Lazychoo's dresser drawer. The exact drawer his previous other half used to put her make up and stuff. So no points for guessing whose they were. Lazychoo doesn't like to bring tissue out anyway, so he chucked them into my bag one day before we both set out for work.
Ah fuck. I said I don't want to think.
Anthony and Daniel came over to look for me during lunch one day. Went with them to a nearby coffeeshop for lunch and pictures.
Anthony,
and Daniel, stoning away as usual.
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Random photos taken with my phone:
Lazychoo messing around with his bike.
Picture taken after he took out the fairing, which explains the bicycle-like appearance of his bike.
Couldn't resist this.
This cute widdle thingie -
hopping around on the ground when Lazychoo was messing around with his bike again.
I think it's still too young to be flying, because although it did fly, it flew just slightly above the ground and for a short while. It got so annoyed at me for following it around that it turned around and faced me
"What d'ya want, punk?!"
This is the meter of Lazychoo's Honda wave
Guess how we did it?
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Tommy, a CBR929 rider, hosted a barbeque one day when he came back for a few days after being posted overseas for work.
We thought it was a barbeque for fun as he would be leaving 2 days after that, but no, it was hosted for his ex-girlfriend's birthday. Got kinda' pissed because we weren't told anything about it and we attended the thing for him, not for some girl we don't quite know.
Anyway, being the annoyed me, I only took ONE picture of the thing..
And a couple of me and Lazychoo because I finally got him to wear that Doraemon polo tee! MUAHAHAHAHA! Don't think I can ever get him to wear that again, he doesn't like it.
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Random photos from my camera again..
Her name is Tiny. She sits in the van when Lazychoo drives back, and in my office during the day.
Ain't she cute?
Uncle Tommy~
Up coming photo taken and posted because he took my photo without permission using his new phone.
Neh neh ni bu bu~
Really artistic photos.
.. and basically internet withdrawal symptoms, headaches, chest pains, feeling very nauseous now and then. No, I'm not sick, I just feel unwell. Went to the doctor's just now, and he referred me to the polyclinic for a check-up.
Since my last post it's all work, meet Lazychoo, sleep, work, meet Lazychoo, sleep. Somebody please give me my life back! It's like I have totally no time for myself, to sit back, relax or even just to use the internet for more than 10 minutes.
I'm going crazy here.
Can't think clearly to type much, so here are some pictures to keep you entertained.
Here's my office table:
Slightly closer..
Here are the high technology whatnots I use everyday. What I don't understand is that I actually have to use BOTH the notebook and the PC AT THE SAME TIME.
Somewhere on the table lies a pile of tissue paper,
And for those of you close to me, you know I don't like bringing tissue paper around because they can somehow evolve from a nice packet into a messy ball wad outside of the packet. Then why-oh-why do I have 3 unopened packets and one half used packet on my office table?
These came from Lazychoo's dresser drawer. The exact drawer his previous other half used to put her make up and stuff. So no points for guessing whose they were. Lazychoo doesn't like to bring tissue out anyway, so he chucked them into my bag one day before we both set out for work.
Ah fuck. I said I don't want to think.
Anthony and Daniel came over to look for me during lunch one day. Went with them to a nearby coffeeshop for lunch and pictures.
Anthony,
and Daniel, stoning away as usual.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Random photos taken with my phone:
Lazychoo messing around with his bike.
Picture taken after he took out the fairing, which explains the bicycle-like appearance of his bike.
Couldn't resist this.
This cute widdle thingie -
hopping around on the ground when Lazychoo was messing around with his bike again.
I think it's still too young to be flying, because although it did fly, it flew just slightly above the ground and for a short while. It got so annoyed at me for following it around that it turned around and faced me
"What d'ya want, punk?!"
This is the meter of Lazychoo's Honda wave
Guess how we did it?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tommy, a CBR929 rider, hosted a barbeque one day when he came back for a few days after being posted overseas for work.
We thought it was a barbeque for fun as he would be leaving 2 days after that, but no, it was hosted for his ex-girlfriend's birthday. Got kinda' pissed because we weren't told anything about it and we attended the thing for him, not for some girl we don't quite know.
Anyway, being the annoyed me, I only took ONE picture of the thing..
And a couple of me and Lazychoo because I finally got him to wear that Doraemon polo tee! MUAHAHAHAHA! Don't think I can ever get him to wear that again, he doesn't like it.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Random photos from my camera again..
Her name is Tiny. She sits in the van when Lazychoo drives back, and in my office during the day.
Ain't she cute?
Uncle Tommy~
Up coming photo taken and posted because he took my photo without permission using his new phone.
Neh neh ni bu bu~
Really artistic photos.
Jazzyme; 信 5:26 PM.
